Weather— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more coherent and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases.

例: My hometown, Abadan, is located in the southwest of Iran. It is extremely hot, especially during the summer months. Because of the high temperatures, it can be difficult to do outdoor activities during the day.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific reasons for your preference.

例: Since I live in a hot city, I prefer cold weather because it is more comfortable. For example, if I could move, I would choose a cold city like Tabriz because the cooler climate is easier to handle.

提案: Improve clarity by correcting vocabulary and grammar. Use linking words to explain your preference with specific reasons.

例: I prefer dry weather because wet weather makes me feel uncomfortable and cold. Moreover, dry weather is easier to manage and allows me to go outside without worries.

提案: Try to organize your answer with clear sentences and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to explain how the weather forecast affects your daily decisions.

例: Yes, I check the weather forecast every day, usually in the morning. I use it to decide what to wear and whether to change my plans. For instance, if it is going to rain, I might take an umbrella or stay indoors.

提案: Clarify your ideas and use correct grammar. Provide specific examples and use linking words to connect your points logically.

例: In my opinion, climate change has caused hotter weather, which can make people feel more irritable. On the other hand, people living in cooler climates tend to be more relaxed and active throughout the day.

提案: Make your answer more concise and natural. Use linking words to explain your reasons clearly and provide specific examples.

例: Yes, I enjoy traveling to cities with different climates. For example, visiting cooler places helps me improve my mood and break my daily routine.

× In my hometown that is apples is the southwest of Iran, there is a very. Hot place to leave and you cannot do anything that you want.

✓ In my hometown, which is called Apples, in the southwest of Iran, there is a very hot place to live and you cannot do anything you want.

The original sentence has incorrect sentence structure and punctuation, making it confusing. 'That is apples' should be 'which is called Apples' to correctly introduce the hometown's name. Also, 'leave' should be 'live' to indicate residence. The period after 'very' is misplaced and should be removed. The phrase 'anything that you want' is better as 'anything you want' for natural English.

× It is very hot all of the day and especially in summers.

✓ It is very hot all day, especially in summer.

The phrase 'all of the day' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'all day'. Also, 'in summers' should be 'in summer' when referring to the season generally.

× As I live in a hot city, I prefer to live in a cold place because I'm tired of up arguing with this hotness and if I change change my place I would go to a cold city such as Tavris or other places to live.

✓ As I live in a hot city, I prefer to live in a cold place because I'm tired of arguing with this heat, and if I changed my place, I would go to a cold city such as Tavris or other places to live.

The phrase 'tired of up arguing' is incorrect; it should be 'tired of arguing'. 'Hotness' is unnatural here; 'heat' is better. The conditional sentence requires past tense 'changed' for the hypothetical situation. Also, the repeated word 'change' is an error.

× I think dry with her is the best because wet weather feels like you are very drive and I think drivatar is the best because you can handle it better.

✓ I think dry weather is the best because wet weather feels like you are very dry, and I think dry weather is the best because you can handle it better.

'Dry with her' is a mishearing or typo for 'dry weather'. 'Drive' should be 'dry'. 'Drivatar' is a misspelling of 'dry weather'. The sentence needs correction for clarity and correct word usage.

× Actually, yes, all the time. I will check the weather, temperature and then decide to what I am going to wear and after that I will change my plan for my dress or for the place that I want to go.

✓ Actually, yes, all the time. I check the weather and temperature and then decide what I am going to wear, and after that, I change my plan for my dress or for the place I want to go.

Using 'will' here is incorrect because the speaker is describing a habitual action, so the present simple tense 'check' and 'change' should be used instead of 'will check' and 'will change'. Also, 'decide to what I am going to wear' should be 'decide what I am going to wear'.

× And this is one of the special parts of my day that changing the weather is an influence on.

✓ And this is one of the special parts of my day that the changing weather influences.

The phrase 'changing the weather is an influence on' is awkward and incorrect. It should be rephrased to 'the changing weather influences' to correctly express the idea. Also, 'changing the weather' should be 'changing weather'.

× In my opinion, people getting more angry in hot weather and the people who live in a cold weather and leave in a convenient places.

✓ In my opinion, people get more angry in hot weather, and the people who live in cold weather and live in convenient places

The sentence is incomplete and has errors. 'People getting' should be 'people get' for correct verb form. 'A cold weather' should be 'cold weather' without article. 'Leave in a convenient places' should be 'live in convenient places'.

× I think there are more relax and enjoy from the weather and they can be active and all the day long.

✓ I think they are more relaxed and enjoy the weather, and they can be active all day long.

'More relax' should be 'more relaxed' (adjective form). 'Enjoy from the weather' is incorrect; it should be 'enjoy the weather'. 'All the day long' is better as 'all day long'.

× But I think people who live in a hot weather or angry.

✓ But I think people who live in hot weather are angry.

'In a hot weather' should be 'in hot weather' without article. 'Or angry' is incorrect; it should be 'are angry' to complete the sentence.

× This is one of my hobbies all day long and all the year.

✓ This is one of my hobbies all day long and all year.

'All the year' should be 'all year' to correctly express the time period.

× I would plan for having a trip to other cities that have a different weather from my place and I think it can help me to improve my mood and change my routine.

✓ I would plan to take a trip to other cities that have different weather from my place, and I think it can help me improve my mood and change my routine.

'Plan for having a trip' is awkward; 'plan to take a trip' is better. 'A different weather' should be 'different weather' without article. 'Help me to improve' can be 'help me improve' for natural English.