Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并注意语法与用词。应先用一句主题句回答问题，然后用1–2句简要具体说明原因，避免重复和拼写错误。注意时态、单复数和介词用法，例如“my major in architecture requires me to write many design descriptions”之类的表达。

例: Yes, I write a lot. As an architecture student, my coursework requires me to research online and write detailed descriptions of designs, so I spend considerable time writing essays for my assignments.

提案: 回答要更清晰有条理，先直接回答喜欢写什么，然后给出具体原因并用连接词衔接。注意词汇搭配和拼写，例如“heroes”“society”“defend against evil”“writing helps me relieve stress”。避免含糊和不必要的词语。

例: I enjoy writing stories about heroes because I feel society can be unfair. Writing about heroic characters allows me to explore justice and helps me relieve stress and escape from daily pressures.

提案: 答案语法和逻辑混乱，需要重组为一到两句明确表达观点并给出原因。避免重复和错误词形（如“white”应为“write”）。可以说明写作风格或主题如何随经验和观点变化。

例: Yes, I think my writing will change over time. As I gain more knowledge and life experience, my stories and style will become more mature and reflect different perspectives.

提案: 回答总体可理解，但需简洁并改正语法和拼写错误。先直接给出偏好，再用一两句说明理由并使用连接词。注意动词形式和冠词，例如“handwriting helps me concentrate and maintain productivity”。

例: I prefer handwriting because it helps me concentrate better and maintain productivity when working. Writing by hand also improves my writing skills and focus.

提案: 回答内容不清楚且有多处拼写与语法错误。应直接说频率（e.g. I never keep a diary）并给出简明原因，使用正确短语如“in my opinion”/“forget the past”/“focus on the future”。避免不必要的重复。

例: I never keep a diary. In my opinion, it's better to let go of negative events from the past and focus on the future, so I prefer not to record my daily thoughts.

提案: 回答基本表达清楚，但需更自然的措辞和正确的词形。例如说“I use my phone's memo app because it's convenient and efficient”并举具体例子，如“shopping lists, plans, or reminders”。注意单复数和代词使用。

例: I usually use the notes app on my phone because it's convenient and efficient. I keep things like plans, reminders and shopping lists there, so I can access them anywhere, even on the subway.

× Yes, that's definitely because my major architecture design always need to write a lot of descriptions of designs that require me spend lots of times research the information in Internet and then white essays in my homework.

✓ Yes, definitely. My major, architectural design, always requires me to write many descriptions of designs. This requires me to spend a lot of time researching information on the Internet and then write essays for my homework.

句子结构混乱且动词形式、冠词和介词使用错误。应将复合信息拆成几句以提高清晰度。注意主谓一致：major…requires。使用短语 a lot of time 而不是 lots of times；research 用动名词 researching；on the Internet 用介词 on；write（写）不是 white（拼写错误）。建议将长句分成更短的句子并检查动词时态和拼写。

× I like writing a story about the heroes because I believe in these days the societies is unfair.

✓ I like writing stories about heroes because I believe that society these days is unfair.

原句代词和名词使用不当：使用复数定冠词和可数名词错误（the societies），应使用不可数名词 society 来泛指社会；heroes 前可用复数 stories。并在 believe 后加 that 引导从句。建议注意可数/不可数名词和从句结构。

× It needs a hero to change it and defend the evils and Whiting these things can help me release the streets and escape from.

✓ It needs a hero to change it and defend people from evil, and writing these things helps me relieve stress and escape from reality.

句子结构混乱，多处词汇错误：Whiting 应为 writing；release the streets 无意义，应为 relieve stress（缓解压力）；escape from 后需接宾语，例如 reality（现实）。此外 defend the evils 用法错误，应 defend people from evil。建议使用常见短语并补全必要成分。

× Yes, that's that definitely I believe I'm white things will changes in these times.

✓ Yes, definitely. I believe the things I write will change things in these times.

结构和词汇错误：that's that definitely 多余且不通顺；white 拼写错误，应为 write；will changes 主谓不一致，助动词后动词用原形 should be will change。建议简化句子并注意动词原形。

× I like white story about heroes because I'm energies and young.

✓ I like writing stories about heroes because I am energetic and young.

代词和词类错误：white 拼写错误为 write（应为 writing）；story 单数改为复数 stories 更自然；energies 误用，正确形容词为 energetic。建议区分名词、形容词和动名词形式。

× I was always be hopeful about the societies, but with the acknowledgers and experience improvement I believe ever tend to.

✓ I have always been hopeful about society, but with more knowledge and experience I believe it can change.

代词和时态混乱：I was always be 不正确，应使用现在完成时 have always been 或过去 be 的单一形式；the societies 应为 society；acknowledgers 拼写错误，应为 knowledge（知识）；experience improvement 用法不当，改为 more experience 或 increased experience；ever tend to 无意义，替换为 it can change 更通顺。建议注意时态一致性和单词拼写。

× I prefer handwriting because the handwriting always helps me easily concentrate on whitens and it can helps me can keep the high productivity to finishes the work and the sentence.

✓ I prefer handwriting because it helps me concentrate easily on writing, and it helps me maintain high productivity to finish my work and sentences.

冠词和动词形式错误：重复使用 the handwriting 冗余，可用 it；concentrate on writing 正确搭配；whitens 拼写错误为 writing；helps 后接动词原形 concentrate，不加 can；keep the high productivity 改为 maintain high productivity；finishes 应为 finish；the sentence 改为 sentences 或 omit。建议简化表达并检查助动词结构和拼写。

× The handwriting always can exercise my ability of writing.

✓ Handwriting always helps improve my writing ability.

句子结构和用词不自然：always can 的词序不自然，应为 always helps；exercise my ability of writing 改为 improve my writing ability 更地道。建议使用固定搭配 improve one's writing ability。

× Oh I never sweated that rings because the in my opinions some bad things need to forget happenings the yesterdays and we need to fo focus on the futures.

✓ Oh, I never write them down because in my opinion some bad things should be forgotten, and we need to focus on the future.

代词和动词错误：sweated that rings 无意义，应为 write them down（记日记）；the in my opinions 拼写和冠词错误，应为 in my opinion；happenings the yesterdays 语序和词形错误，改为 should be forgotten 或 forget the past；fo 拼写错误为 focus；the futures 应为 the future（不可数）。建议使用固定表达并注意单复数与拼写。

× The future is hopefuls and experience.

✓ The future is hopeful and full of experience.

代词和词类错误：hopefuls 不存在，改为 hopeful（形容词）；experience 单独使用不自然，加上 full of experience 或 more experiences。建议用形容词修饰 future 并检查可数/不可数用法。

× So I never white the diary.

✓ So I never write a diary.

拼写和冠词错误：white 应为 write；the diary 改为 write a diary 或 keep a diary，表示习惯性动作用一般现在时。建议注意拼写和冠词用法。

× I always use the memos from my mobile phones because I believe that is convenience and high productivity's.

✓ I always use the memos on my mobile phone because I believe that is convenient and highly productive.

介词和词形错误：memos from my mobile phones 含义不清，通常说 memos on my mobile phone；mobile phones 复数改单数更自然；convenience 是名词，应使用形容词 convenient；high productivity's 不正确，改为 highly productive 或 have high productivity。建议注意词类转换和介词搭配。

× You can easily see these things such as your plane and your dairy's in everywhere even in subways so I like use this most.

✓ You can easily see things like your plans and diaries everywhere, even in the subway, so I like using this most.

结构和拼写错误：plane 应为 plan；dairy's 应为 diaries（拼写和所有格误用）；in everywhere 冗余，使用 everywhere；in subways 可改为 in the subway 或 on the subway（视地区）；I like use this most 改为 I like using this most。建议检查拼写、复数形式和介词搭配。