Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümle yapısını sadeleştirip anlamı netleştirmeniz gerekiyor. Ayrıca birkaç dilbilgisi hatası ve anlamsal belirsizlik var ("read them passengers" ifadesi yanlış). Cevabınızı tek bir konu cümlesiyle başlatın, ardından kısa bir açıklama ekleyin. Bağlaçlar kullanarak akışı sağlayın (for example, and then, so). Daha doğal ifadeler kullanın: “I keep a diary” yeterli ama sonrasında ne yaptığınızı açıkça söyleyin (ör. "and I often reread my entries").

例: Yes, I write quite often. I keep a diary where I record daily events and feelings, and I often reread my entries to reflect on them.

提案: İyi cevap: doğrudan konu cümlesi ve nedenini belirtiyorsunuz. Geliştirmek için daha spesifik örnekler ve bağlaçlar ekleyin (for instance, when, because), ayrıca zamir kullanımı düzeltin ("write them" yerine "write about them"). Cümle sayısını 2–3 ile sınırlayın ve gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın.

例: I mainly write about my daily life because it makes me happy and helps me process emotions. For instance, when I feel angry or upset, I write about the situation and this helps me calm down.

提案: Cevap belirsiz ve mantık bağlantısı zayıf. "Things you write would change" sorusunu daha açık yorumlayın (ör. opinions, feelings, future plans). Konu cümlesi verin ve bir neden veya örnekle destekleyin. Gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın ve "umm" gibi doldurma kelimelerini azaltın.

例: Not usually. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts, so my feelings or plans rarely change right after I write them, because I already think them through carefully.

提案: Açık tercihiniz iyi, ancak ifadeyi daha doğal ve akıcı yapmalısınız. "Writing to notebook" yanlış kullanım; doğru ifade "writing in a notebook" veya "writing by hand". Kısa neden ekleyin (e.g. it feels more personal, helps me remember).

例: I prefer handwriting because writing in a notebook feels more personal and helps me remember things better than typing on a keyboard.

提案: Cümle akışı karışık ve anlamsal hatalar var ("fun to lay for later" yanlış). Netlik için doğrudan cevap verin: how often — daily, then nedenini açık ve kısa bir örnekle destekleyin. Gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerini çıkarın.

例: I keep a diary every day. Even if nothing major happens, I enjoy writing small details so I can look back on them later.

提案: Fikirler iyi ama dilbilgisi ve ifade bozuklukları var. Cümleleri kısa ve net tutun, zaman uyumuna dikkat edin ("I took I take photo" hatalı). Ayrıca "fake tiktok account" ifadesi yerine "private TikTok account" daha uygun. Bağlaçlarla öğeleri listeleyin (for example, and, also).

例: Besides my diary, I sometimes record voice notes and take photos to capture how I feel. I also keep a private TikTok account where I share my thoughts occasionally.

× I keep a diary and write everything about my life, and then I read them passengers what I wrote about.

✓ I keep a diary and write everything about my life, and then I read what I wrote.

The phrase 'read them passengers what I wrote about' is ungrammatical and seems to be a mistaken insertion. The correct structure is 'read what I wrote' where 'what' introduces the content. Remove the extraneous words and keep the verb 'read' with the noun clause 'what I wrote'. Suggestion: practice forming noun clauses with 'what' as object of verbs (e.g., 'I read what I wrote yesterday').

× Like I said, I write my daily life because it makes me happy. If I feel angry or upset, I write them and feel calm.

✓ Like I said, I write about my daily life because it makes me happy. If I feel angry or upset, I write about it and feel calm.

'Write my daily life' is not idiomatic; use 'write about my daily life'. The pronoun 'them' incorrectly refers to 'daily life' (singular), so use 'it'. Also use the correct preposition 'about' with 'write'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and use 'write about' when describing the topic you write about.

× No, not really. Umm, my things don't change immediately if I write them. That means I believe them.

✓ No, not really. Umm, the things I write don't change immediately. That doesn't mean I believe them.

'My things' is vague; 'the things I write' is clearer. The original 'if I write them' is awkward; place the clause before or rephrase. The second sentence 'That means I believe them' contradicts context; likely intended 'That doesn't mean I believe them.' Ensure pronouns refer clearly and use correct negation. Suggestion: reword sentences for clarity and check logical consistency of negation.

× Oh, I prefer handwriting. I don't enjoy using keyboards. Uh, writing to notebook or diary, uh is better than typing.

✓ Oh, I prefer handwriting. I don't enjoy using keyboards. Writing in a notebook or diary is better than typing.

Use 'writing in a notebook' not 'to notebook'. Also include an article 'a notebook' or 'my notebook'. 'Writing in' is the correct preposition for recording inside a notebook. Suggestion: learn common prepositional collocations like 'write in a notebook' and 'write on a computer'.

× I keep them. I, I keep them every day. Umm, I don't have so many experiences in the day, but I like to write them because it's fun to lay for later. Look at them.

✓ I keep a diary. I keep it every day. Umm, I don't have many exciting things happen during the day, but I like to write about them because it's fun to look back later.

Use consistent tense and clear subjects: 'I keep a diary' is clearer than 'I keep them'. 'I keep it every day' uses correct pronoun agreement. 'I don't have so many experiences in the day' is awkward; 'I don't have many exciting things happen during the day' is clearer. 'It's fun to lay for later' is incorrect; use 'it's fun to look back later'. Suggestions: use 'look back' for reviewing past entries and ensure pronoun number matches noun.

× I keep a diary, sometimes I record my voice umm I have a fake tiktok account and share my opinions or I took I take photo to remember what I feel.

✓ I keep a diary; sometimes I record my voice. I have a fake TikTok account where I share my opinions, or I take photos to remember how I felt.

Several issues: run-on sentence needs punctuation. 'I took I take photo' is ungrammatical; use present tense 'I take photos'. Use plural 'photos' and verb agreement. 'To remember what I feel' should be 'to remember how I felt' (past feeling) or 'to remember how I feel' depending on intended meaning. Suggestion: split into clear sentences, use correct verb forms and plural nouns, and maintain consistent tense when describing habitual actions.