Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 内容方面：回答能传达主要意思，但句子结构混乱且有语法错误，影响理解。建议用一到两句直接回答（是否经常写），随后用一到两句具体说明频率和写作类型。发音和停顿处可减少犹豫词（uh, like）。用词要准确（例如：’diaries’ 用作复数可以，但更自然说 ‘a diary’ 或 ‘diary entries’）。具体练习：准备一套固定句型：’Yes, I do. I usually write…’ 然后补充频率和原因。

例: Yes, I do write fairly often. I usually spend a little time each evening writing short diary entries because it helps me relax after studying.

提案: 内容方面：回答主题明确（小说），但表达含混且语法词汇使用错误（‘a rules’, ‘Lives’）。建议先用一句话明确类型和原因，再用一两句具体例子说明你写作的主题或风格。使用连接词（because, for example, so）使逻辑更清晰。注意名词单复数和冠词。

例: I enjoy writing novels because I like creating my own rules and worlds. For example, I often write stories about everyday life with a little fantasy, which lets me explore interesting characters and situations.

提案: 内容方面：回答有观点但表达混乱，时态和词形错误较多（’age increasing’, ‘high school student pride’, ‘prefer to writing’）。建议先用一句话明确会改变的观点，然后列举过去与现在的具体写作主题作为对比，使用连接词（when, but, now）。尽量避免重复和犹豫词。

例: Yes, I think my writing will change as I get older. When I was in high school I wrote mainly about fun events with classmates, but now I tend to write more about personal struggles and emotions.

提案: 内容方面：观点明确（喜欢手写），但语法和表达不够准确（’spend my time meaningful’, ‘papers are right’）。建议用一到两句陈述偏好并解释原因，随后给出具体对比细节，如感觉、保存性或便捷性。注意用词准确（meaningful, last for many years, typing）。

例: I prefer handwriting because it feels more meaningful and personal to me. Handwritten notes also seem to last longer, while typing often feels less intimate.

提案: 内容方面：回答包含频率和原因，但表达可更简洁自然（’3 * a week’ 应为 ‘three times a week’）。减少口语填充词（you know, uh）。建议先给出直接频率句，然后补充原因和条件，使用连接词（because, when）。

例: I usually write in my diary about three times a week because I'm often busy. When I have free time I write more detailed entries about my day and feelings.

提案: 内容方面：答案意思是用照片记录，但表达严重错误（’ice is the most important organs’ 无意义）。建议首先直接回答摄影，然后给出两三条具体理由（visual, quick, vivid memories）。避免无关或错误的词汇，注意句子逻辑与连接。

例: I prefer taking photos to record my life because images are visual and capture details quickly. Photos help me remember places, people and emotions much more vividly than words.

× In fact, I'm still a college student now and I prefer to spend most of my time on starting my major lessons.

✓ In fact, I'm still a college student now and I prefer to spend most of my time studying my major subjects.

原句中“spend most of my time on starting my major lessons”搭配不当。英语中常用“spend time doing sth.”结构，且“start”与“lessons”不合上下文。建议用“spend most of my time studying my major subjects”表示“把大部分时间花在学习专业课程上”。（时态与语态保持现在时）

× So I will try to give a little time on writing, but I prefer I like to writing some Diaries in my free time before the sleeping.

✓ So I try to give a little time to writing, but I like writing diaries in my free time before sleeping.

原句有多处问题：1) “will try”与前后语境用现在时更自然，改为“I try”；2) “give a little time on”应为“give time to”或更自然地省略为“try to give a little time to writing”；3) “I prefer I like to”重复且不正确，保留“I like”；4) “writing some Diaries”中diaries不需要大写且用动名词“writing diaries”；5) “before the sleeping”错误，改为“before sleeping”。这些均涉及动名词用法和搭配。

× I try to write some novels because I think very interesting.

✓ I try to write some novels because I think they are very interesting.

原句缺少主语“they”，形容词“interesting”用于描述小说，所以需要完整句子“I think they are very interesting.” 这是动名词/从句和主语一致的常见错误。

× For example, I can write a rules and the rules totally belong to me and I can control them.

✓ For example, I can write rules, and the rules totally belong to me and I can control them.

“a rules”中同时出现不定冠词与复数名词，语法错误。应使用复数“rules”或单数“a rule”。这里语境用复数更自然，因此去掉冠词。

× Lives is very interesting and beautiful for me.

✓ Life is very interesting and beautiful to me.

主语“Lives”使用复数不符合习惯表达，应为不可数/单数名词“life”。谓语应用单数“is”。“for me”常用替换为“to me”。

× Yes, I think I will change the things I write with the age increasing.

✓ Yes, I think the things I write will change as I get older.

原句“with the age increasing”不自然，英语中常用“as I get older”或“with age”。同时将“I will change the things I write”改为被动顺序“the things I write will change”更符合表达习惯。时态仍为将来/变化趋势。

× For example, during my high school student pride, I prefer to writing some interesting things.

✓ For example, during my high school years, I preferred writing about some interesting things.

“high school student pride”不正确，应为“high school years”或“when I was a high school student”。此外“prefer to writing”搭配错误，应为“prefer writing”或“preferred writing”。因为谈过去的情况，用过去时“preferred”。

× For example, uh, playing with my classmate or have some uh, difficult with my friends.

✓ For example, playing with my classmates or having some difficulties with my friends.

1) “classmate”单数应为复数“classmates”更自然；2) “have some difficult”错误，应为“have some difficulties”或“having some difficulties”；3) 保持并列结构一致，两个部分都用动名词形式。

× But now I prefer try to just some pains about my.

✓ But now I try to write only about some of my pains.

原句结构混乱：1) “prefer try to”不自然，可分为“I try to”或“I prefer to”二选一；2) “just some pains about my”词序和所有格错误，应为“about some of my pains”或“about my problems”。此处改为“I try to write only about some of my pains.”以保持清晰。

× I prefer traditional handwriting because I think it spend my time meaningful.

✓ I prefer traditional handwriting because I think it makes my time meaningful.

动词“spend”用法不正确，句意需用“make something meaningful”结构。保持现在时，改为“makes”。

× For example, I can keep the papers are right for many years, but when I write something on my types, it's just like a different feeling than writing on paper.

✓ For example, I can keep the papers intact for many years, but when I write something on my device, it's just a different feeling than writing on paper.

1) “the papers are right”不通顺，意为“保存完好”应为“keep the papers intact”；2) “my types”错误，应指“my device”或“my computer/phone”；3) “just like a different feeling”冗余，改为“it's just a different feeling”。

× I write my Diaries about 3 * a week because you know, sometimes I'm so busy and forgot to writing something about my life, but if I'm free, I will write something more and even, uh, details about my life.

✓ I write in my diary about three times a week because sometimes I'm so busy and forget to write about my life, but if I'm free, I will write more and even include details about my life.

1) “Diaries”大写与用法不当，改为“diary”或“write in my diary”；2) 用数字表达频率应写“about three times a week”；3) “forgot to writing”语法错误，应为“forget to write”；4) 保持现在时描述习惯性动作，用“forget”。

× So I think 3 * a week is very reasonable.

✓ So I think three times a week is very reasonable.

“3 * a week”非标准表达，改为“three times a week”。保持名词短语完整。

× I choose to take in photos to record my lives because I think ice is the most important organs with our bodies and we can feel lot with our eyes.

✓ I choose to take photos to record my life because I think eyes are the most important organs of our bodies and we can feel a lot with our eyes.

1) “take in photos”不正确，改为“take photos”；2) “lives”复数用法不当，改为不可数“life”；3) “ice”为拼写错误，应为“eyes”；4) “most important organs with our bodies”搭配应为“of our bodies”；5) “feel lot”缺冠词，改为“feel a lot”。

× So I think, uh, photos are visible and make me feel more meaningful than writing or, uh, other things kind of.

✓ So I think photos are more vivid and make me feel more fulfilled than writing or other kinds of things.

1) “visible”用词不当，应为“vivid”或“visual”来表达照片更直观；2) “make me feel more meaningful”应为“make me feel more fulfilled”或“give me more meaning”；3) “other things kind of”语序错误，改为“other kinds of things”。