Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by avoiding redundancy and improving sentence structure. Use simpler and more direct expressions to convey your ideas effectively.

例: I don't write much, except for daily charting at work. I don't usually write stories or songs because I don't feel talented in that area.

提案: Improve your answer by using correct grammar and clearer sentence structure. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I don't write much these days because we have phones. However, when I was young, I often wrote cards to my parents on their birthdays or Christmas to show my love.

提案: Make your answer more coherent by using proper linking words and correcting grammar. Be more specific about how and why writing changes.

例: I think what we write can change over time because as humans, our thoughts and feelings evolve.

提案: Use clearer sentence structure and avoid repetition. Explain your preference with specific reasons and linking words.

例: I prefer typing because my handwriting is not very clear, and typing helps avoid misunderstandings with others.

提案: Make your answer more concise and organized. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar mistakes.

例: I don't keep a diary now, but I had one when I was young. I stopped writing in it and lost it when we moved to a new house.

提案: Improve fluency by avoiding repetition and using linking words. Use correct grammar and be more specific about your methods.

例: Nowadays, I record my life mainly through videos, especially of my children, to preserve memories. I save these videos on my phone and sometimes back them up in my email.

× Honestly, not really, but at my work we do charting every day so I do not have reason to not to write, but when in terms of story or songs I don't have the talent about that.

✓ Honestly, not really, but at my work we do charting every day so I do not have a reason not to write, but when it comes to stories or songs I don't have the talent for that.

The phrase 'do charting' is correct but 'have reason to not to write' is incorrect; it should be 'have a reason not to write' because 'reason' is countable and requires an article 'a'. Also, 'when in terms of story or songs' is awkward; the correct phrase is 'when it comes to stories or songs'. 'Talent about that' should be 'talent for that' because 'talent' is followed by 'for'. These corrections improve clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× Well, I don't usually write especially nowadays that we are have already our phones, but when I was a kid young I usually write a card to my parents especially when their birthday or Christmas to express love for them.

✓ Well, I don't usually write especially nowadays since we already have our phones, but when I was young I usually wrote a card to my parents especially on their birthdays or Christmas to express love for them.

The phrase 'we are have already our phones' is incorrect; it should be 'we already have our phones' to use the correct present tense and word order. 'Kid young' is incorrect; the correct order is 'young kid' or simply 'when I was young'. Also, 'usually write' in past context should be 'usually wrote'. 'When their birthday' should be 'on their birthdays' to use the correct preposition and plural form. These changes correct tense and preposition usage.

× Well, it depends because we are only human, we are not perfect. So are things that we write sometimes changes.

✓ Well, it depends because we are only human, we are not perfect. So the things that we write sometimes change.

The sentence 'So are things that we write sometimes changes' has subject-verb agreement issues. 'Things' is plural, so the verb should be 'change' not 'changes'. Also, 'are things' is incorrectly ordered; it should be 'the things'. This correction fixes subject-verb agreement and word order.

× In terms of that I want a typing because my writing handwriting is not that good so so avoid miscommunication also to other person.

✓ In terms of that, I prefer typing because my handwriting is not that good, so it helps avoid miscommunication with other people.

'I want a typing' is incorrect; 'typing' is a noun and does not need an article here, and 'prefer typing' is more natural. 'My writing handwriting' is redundant; 'my handwriting' suffices. 'So so avoid' is a repetition and incorrect; it should be 'so it helps avoid'. 'Also to other person' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'with other people'. These corrections improve clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Honestly, I don't have Diaries now, but when I was young I have a diary but I did not keep it already so I don't know where I put it because that time we transferred the house so maybe I left somewhere.

✓ Honestly, I don't have diaries now, but when I was young I had a diary, but I did not keep it anymore so I don't know where I put it because at that time we moved houses, so maybe I left it somewhere.

'Diaries' should not be capitalized. 'I have a diary' in past context should be 'I had a diary'. 'Did not keep it already' is awkward; 'did not keep it anymore' is better. 'Transferred the house' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'moved houses'. 'Maybe I left somewhere' is incomplete; it should be 'maybe I left it somewhere'. These corrections fix tense, word choice, and pluralization.

× Well nowadays I tend to record my life through videos especially with my children to have more memories. I tend to get a videos for them to then save it on my phone. Sometimes in my emails I do have more a copy.

✓ Well, nowadays I tend to record my life through videos especially with my children to have more memories. I tend to get videos of them and then save them on my phone. Sometimes in my emails I also have more copies.

'A videos' is incorrect because 'videos' is plural and should not have 'a'. 'Get a videos' should be 'get videos'. 'For them' should be 'of them' to indicate the videos are about the children. 'Save it' should be 'save them' to agree with plural 'videos'. 'More a copy' is incorrect; it should be 'more copies'. These corrections fix quantifier and pronoun agreement.