Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中有許多填充詞（如 'umm', 'uh'）影響流暢度，建議減少使用。回答時可直接表達意見，並用一兩句話說明寫作的頻率或情境，使回答更自然且具體。

例: No, I don't write a lot. I usually write short notes or comments when I read articles online.

提案: 回答時應避免重複和填充詞，並提供更具體的原因或感受，讓回答更豐富且有說服力。

例: I like to keep a diary because it helps me reflect on my daily experiences and feelings.

提案: 回答中語句結構不夠清晰，建議使用連接詞使句子更連貫，並具體說明為何寫的內容會改變。

例: Yes, I believe what I write changes over time because as I grow and experience new things, my thoughts and opinions evolve.

提案: 回答中語法和用詞不夠準確，建議簡潔表達偏好並說明原因，避免語句不完整。

例: I usually prefer typing because it's faster and more convenient, but sometimes I handwrite when I want to relax.

提案: 回答中有重複和填充詞，建議簡潔明確地說明頻率和原因，並用連接詞使句子流暢。

例: I keep a diary twice a day. Although I'm busy with work, I make time because writing is interesting and rewarding.

提案: 回答中有語法錯誤和填充詞，建議用更流暢的句子描述使用手機記錄生活的方式，並具體說明使用的功能。

例: I usually use my smartphone to record my life because it's convenient. I take photos and use apps to jot down notes quickly.

× I just write, write something when I, umm, when I was reading the articles on the Internet.

✓ I just wrote something when I was reading the articles on the Internet.

The sentence describes a past action, so the verb 'write' should be in the past tense 'wrote' to match the time frame indicated by 'was reading'. This ensures tense consistency in the sentence.

× I like to journal my life.

✓ I like to keep a journal of my life.

The verb 'journal' is less commonly used as a verb in this context. Using 'keep a journal of' is more natural and grammatically correct. Also, 'journal my life' is awkward; 'keep a journal of my life' is clearer.

× I think things always changed because we need to, uh, do something new.

✓ I think things always change because we need to do something new.

The sentence talks about a general truth or habitual action, so the present tense 'change' is appropriate instead of the past tense 'changed'. Also, 'need to' should be followed by the base form 'do'.

× Actually I don't prefer both of them and I think it depends on my mood and but usually I use the typing be because nowadays we usually use the computers through a keyboard.

✓ Actually I don't prefer either of them and I think it depends on my mood, but usually I use typing because nowadays we usually use computers with a keyboard.

Use 'either' instead of 'both' when negating preference between two options. 'Use the typing be' is incorrect; it should be 'use typing'. 'Use the computers through a keyboard' is awkward; 'use computers with a keyboard' is more natural. Also, remove unnecessary conjunctions and fix sentence flow.

× Maybe twice a day and I don't write much because I am pretty busy because I'm working now and but I will find find a little time to do it and I find it is very umm, interesting and the rewarding to me.

✓ Maybe twice a day and I don't write much because I am pretty busy working now, but I will find a little time to do it and I find it very interesting and rewarding.

Remove repeated words ('find find'). 'The rewarding' should be 'rewarding' without 'the'. Also, improve sentence flow by removing redundant conjunctions and correcting word order.

× I will choose the my cell phone because it's convenient and I just need to umm, grab my cell phone from my pocket and uh, I will use the app on the cell phone and on my iPhone I record many things like camera.

✓ I will choose my cell phone because it's convenient and I just need to grab it from my pocket. I will use apps on my iPhone to record many things like videos and photos.

Remove the incorrect article 'the' before 'my cell phone'. Avoid repeating 'cell phone' unnecessarily by using pronouns like 'it'. 'Use the app on the cell phone' is vague; 'use apps on my iPhone' is clearer. 'Record many things like camera' is incorrect; specify 'videos and photos' or similar.