Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and complete by avoiding incomplete sentences and redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I write quite often, especially for my assignments and science projects. Writing helps me improve my vocabulary and coherence. For instance, when I write reports, I learn new words and how to organize my thoughts clearly.

提案: Focus on clarity and grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid vague phrases like 'short chords'. Be specific about what you write and why it matters to you.

例: I enjoy writing poetry and short quotes because they help me connect with nature. Through writing, I express my feelings and learn new ways to describe the world around me.

提案: Avoid incomplete sentences and improve coherence by using linking words. Be more specific about how your writing changes over time and why.

例: Yes, my writing has changed over time. Now that I am in university, I focus more on academic assignments, but I still enjoy writing poetry occasionally. This variety helps me develop different writing skills.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and redundancy. Use clear and concise sentences with linking words to explain your preference. Also, specify why handwriting is beneficial for you.

例: I prefer handwriting because it helps me remember information better and improves my writing skills. Writing by hand allows me to focus more and learn effectively.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure. Avoid incomplete sentences and clarify your ideas. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and specific.

例: I don't keep a diary now, but during school, I used to write in one regularly. I often included quotes and short poems that helped me feel connected to nature.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more concise and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating similar phrases.

例: I usually use my mobile phone to record my life by taking photos and videos. This method is convenient because I can access my memories anytime and anywhere.

× I complete my assignment for tasks and my science projects and it helps me a lot to clear my vocab and coherence.

✓ I complete my assignments and my science projects, and it helps me a lot to improve my vocabulary and coherence.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'assignment for tasks' which is unclear and 'vocab' is informal. 'Assignments' should be plural to match the context. Also, 'clear my vocab and coherence' is incorrect; 'improve my vocabulary and coherence' is the correct expression.

× And it is very, very.

✓ And it is very, very helpful.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a complement after 'very, very'. Adding an adjective like 'helpful' completes the sentence and clarifies the meaning.

× I like to write poetry and sometimes I write short chords because it connects me with nature and these aesthetic poetry and quotes.

✓ I like to write poetry and sometimes I write short chords because they connect me with nature and these aesthetic poems and quotes.

The subject 'short chords' is plural, so the verb should be 'connect' instead of 'connects'. Also, 'poetry' is uncountable, so 'these aesthetic poetry' should be 'these aesthetic poems'.

× I learn a lot of from these poetry.

✓ I learn a lot from this poetry.

The phrase 'a lot of from' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'learn a lot from'. Also, 'poetry' is uncountable and should be preceded by 'this' instead of 'these'.

× It I learn a lot.

✓ I learn a lot.

The phrase 'It I learn a lot' is ungrammatical and redundant. Removing 'It' corrects the sentence.

× I prefer to write because when I write I learn a lot and my writing skills are improved when I write and it is very beneficial and outstanding way to improve our writing skills and I learn a lot from these handwriting.

✓ I prefer to write because when I write, I learn a lot and my writing skills improve. It is a very beneficial and outstanding way to improve our writing skills, and I learn a lot from handwriting.

The sentence is too long and repetitive. 'My writing skills are improved' should be 'my writing skills improve'. 'These handwriting' is incorrect; 'handwriting' is uncountable and does not take 'these'. Also, 'it is very beneficial and outstanding way' needs the article 'a' before 'very beneficial'.

× No, I don't write Diaries but on my school time usually I write many Diaries and on this Diaries I mostly rated quotes and short poetry.

✓ No, I don't write diaries now, but during my school time, I usually wrote many diaries, and in these diaries, I mostly wrote quotes and short poetry.

'Diaries' should not be capitalized. 'On my school time' is incorrect; 'during my school time' is correct. 'On this Diaries' should be 'in these diaries'. Also, 'rated' is incorrect; 'wrote' fits the context.

× It is you to try connects me with nature and.

✓ It helps me connect with nature.

The original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical. The corrected sentence conveys the intended meaning clearly and correctly.

× Well I use my mobile phone to record my live by clicking photos or making videos and if I want to see this I open my mobile at any time at any place.

✓ Well, I use my mobile phone to record my life by taking photos or making videos, and if I want to see them, I open my mobile at any time and any place.

'Record my live' should be 'record my life'. 'Clicking photos' is incorrect; 'taking photos' is the correct phrase. 'See this' should be 'see them' referring to photos and videos. 'At any time at any place' is better as 'at any time and any place'.

× So it is very convenient and beneficial way to record your life.

✓ So it is a very convenient and beneficial way to record your life.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'very convenient and beneficial way'.