Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中存在重复词汇和语法错误，影响表达的自然流畅。建议减少重复，注意语法结构，使回答更简洁自然。

例: Yes, I write a lot because I am a calligraphy student, so I often need to write in my daily life.

提案: 回答语法混乱，表达不清晰。建议理清时间顺序，使用正确时态和表达习惯，明确说明写作内容和频率。

例: After finishing school, I usually write Chinese ancient characters. In my daily life, I have a habit of writing in my diary two or three times a week.

提案: 回答中有过多的语气词和重复，表达不够连贯。建议减少填充词，使用连词连接句子，使表达更流畅。

例: Yes, I think the things I write will change as I grow older because my thoughts and experiences become more mature.

提案: 回答中有发音和用词错误，表达不清晰。建议使用正确词汇，避免重复语气词，清楚表达观点。

例: I prefer handwriting because it helps me remember things better than typing.

提案: 回答中有重复和语法错误，表达不完整。建议简洁明了地说明写日记的频率和目的。

例: As I mentioned before, I write in my diary two or three times a week to record my experiences and thoughts.

提案: 回答较为清晰，但有重复和语气词。建议减少重复，使用连词使句子更流畅。

例: I also use a camera to record my daily life. For example, when I see beautiful scenery, I take photos to keep the moment.

× Yes, I I have written a lot because I'm a calligraphy student student so in daily life I always need a write something.

✓ Yes, I have written a lot because I'm a calligraphy student, so in daily life I always need to write something.

句中“student student”重复，应去掉一个；“need a write something”中“a”不应出现，且“write”前应加不定式to，正确表达为“need to write something”。

× If I finish school I always will write something like China ancient characters, but if in my daily life I have a habit about right diary twice or third a year week.

✓ If I finish school, I will always write something like ancient Chinese characters, but in my daily life, I have a habit of writing a diary two or three times a week.

“always will write”顺序错误，应为“will always write”；“China ancient characters”应为“ancient Chinese characters”；“have a habit about right diary”应为“have a habit of writing a diary”；“twice or third a year week”表达混乱，应为“two or three times a week”。

× If I finish school I always will write something like China ancient characters, but if in my daily life I have a habit about right diary twice or third a year week.

✓ If I finish school, I will always write something like ancient Chinese characters, but in my daily life, I have a habit of writing a diary two or three times a week.

“have a habit about right diary”中“right”应为“writing”，动词需用-ing形式表示习惯性动作。

× Yes, I think so because, uh, uh, as I'm growing, uh, my thoughts and my experience will become a different one, uh, than when I was young.

✓ Yes, I think so because, as I'm growing, my thoughts and my experiences will become different from when I was young.

“my experience will become a different one”中“a different one”不合适，应直接用“different”；“than”应改为“from”表示比较对象。

× Uh, so maybe I will message, I write will become more mature or more, uh.

✓ Uh, so maybe the messages I write will become more mature or more, uh.

“I will message, I write”语序和代词使用错误，应改为“the messages I write”，明确指代。

× I prefer handwriting when I write something because I believe that, uh, uh, by hydrating can, it may have a, uh, tougher memories about, uh, atoms.

✓ I prefer handwriting when I write something because I believe that by handwriting, it may create stronger memories about things.

“by hydrating can”应为“by handwriting”；“tougher memories about atoms”表达错误，应为“stronger memories about things”。

× Just just like I said before, I have a habit of writing in my diary two or three times a week. Uh, uh, for recorder, my uh, experience in and the source.

✓ Just like I said before, I have a habit of writing in my diary two or three times a week to record my experiences and sources.

“for recorder”应为“to record”；“experience”应为复数“experiences”；“in and the source”表达不清，应改为“and sources”。

× I also use camera to record my daily life. For example, if I meet some beautiful scenery, I will take a photo, uh, photo umm and uh, for keep this moment.

✓ I also use a camera to record my daily life. For example, if I see some beautiful scenery, I will take a photo to keep this moment.

“use camera”应为“use a camera”；“if I meet some beautiful scenery”中“meet”用法错误，应为“see”；“for keep this moment”应为“to keep this moment”。