Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a direct response first, then add clear supporting details using proper sentence structure and linking words. Avoid repetition and ensure your ideas are logically connected.

例: I don't write much these days because most of my work is done on a laptop. However, when I was a child, I used to write everything down in notebooks for my academic work.

提案: Your answer is a bit vague and repetitive. Try to be more specific about what you write and why, and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Also, avoid grammatical mistakes and incomplete sentences.

例: I enjoy writing in my journal because it helps me record special moments from both the past and present. This way, I can cherish my memories whenever I read them later.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but lacks clarity and correct grammar. Make sure to use past tense correctly and complete your sentences. Use linking words to explain your thoughts clearly and avoid abrupt endings.

例: Yes, the things I write have changed over time. For example, as a child, I wrote that I wanted to be an astronaut, but now I am training to be a nurse. This change happened because children often imagine unrealistic futures.

提案: Your answer repeats ideas and has grammatical errors. Try to state your preference clearly, then explain your reason using linking words. Keep your sentences concise and avoid redundancy.

例: I prefer typing on a laptop because my handwriting is hard to read. Therefore, typing makes it easier for others to understand my writing.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and somewhat repetitive. Provide a clear frequency of diary keeping and explain why you do it, using linking words to connect your ideas. Also, complete your sentences fully.

例: I have kept a diary since I was a child. I write in it regularly, especially about moments that are close to my heart, so I can remember them in the future.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'each and everything' and complete your sentences properly.

例: I use my mobile phone to record my life by taking photos and writing notes. This helps me remember special experiences and reflect on my feelings later.

× I write a lot nowadays because I'm having most of my work on laptop

✓ I write a lot nowadays because I have most of my work on my laptop

The verb 'have' is a stative verb and is not used in the continuous form 'I'm having' to indicate possession. The correct present simple tense 'I have' should be used here.

× so I didn't use any notebook or paper book

✓ so I don't use any notebook or paper book

The sentence refers to the present habit, so the present tense 'don't use' is appropriate instead of the past tense 'didn't use'.

× So I tried to write write down everything when I was a kid

✓ So I tried to write down everything when I was a kid

The repetition 'write write' is a typographical error and should be corrected to a single 'write'.

× At that time I I'm having academic

✓ At that time I was studying academically

The phrase 'I'm having academic' is incorrect. The past continuous or past simple tense should be used to describe past academic activity, e.g., 'I was studying academically'.

× I love to write about my any special thing

✓ I love to write about any special thing of mine

The phrase 'my any special thing' is incorrect. The determiner 'any' should precede the noun without 'my', or 'of mine' should be used to indicate possession.

× I used to maintain the journal for myself so that I can write down every memory which I had now and which I had in the past

✓ I used to maintain a journal for myself so that I could write down every memory I have now and had in the past

The modal verb 'can' should be in past form 'could' to match 'used to'. Also, 'which I had now' is incorrect; 'I have now' is appropriate for present memories.

× Yes, when I was a kid, I always try to write down in my diary that I will be astronaut in the future

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, I always tried to write down in my diary that I would be an astronaut in the future

The verb 'try' should be in past tense 'tried' to match 'when I was a kid'. Also, 'will be' should be 'would be' for reported future in the past, and 'an astronaut' requires the article 'an'.

× But right now I have my nurse

✓ But right now I am a nurse

The phrase 'I have my nurse' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'I am a nurse' to indicate current occupation.

× So I think it quite change over the time because in the childhood most of the kids are in fantasy so they don't know the reality

✓ So I think it quite changes over time because in childhood most kids are in fantasy and don't know reality

The verb 'change' should be 'changes' to agree with singular subject 'it'. Also, 'in the childhood' should be 'in childhood'. The conjunction 'so' is better replaced with 'and' to connect the clauses logically.

× I always try try to type on the laptop because my handwriting is not quite good

✓ I always try to type on the laptop because my handwriting is not very good

The repetition 'try try' is a typographical error. Also, 'not quite good' is better expressed as 'not very good' for clarity.

× So that's why I always try to do the typing on the laptop so that it will be easy for the other person to have a look on that

✓ So that's why I always try to type on the laptop so that it will be easy for the other person to have a look at it

The phrase 'have a look on that' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'at' and 'that' should be replaced with 'it' to refer to the typed content.

× Since my childhood I try to keep diary with me so that I can write down each and everything in my diary or general

✓ Since my childhood I have tried to keep a diary with me so that I can write down everything in my diary in general

The present tense 'try' should be present perfect 'have tried' to indicate an action continuing from the past to present. Also, 'keep diary' requires the article 'a diary'.

× So I try to write down in my diary so that in the future I will remember and

✓ So I try to write down in my diary so that in the future I will remember

The sentence is incomplete; the conjunction 'and' at the end is unnecessary and should be removed for sentence completeness.

× I tried to use my mobile phone to record my life, especially the album and the notes

✓ I try to use my mobile phone to record my life, especially the album and the notes

The verb 'tried' suggests past action, but the context implies a current habit, so present tense 'try' is more appropriate.