Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和拼写错误，表达不够清晰。建议注意时态和单词拼写，避免重复和冗余，使回答更自然流畅。

例: I used to write a lot in senior high school because I needed to practice, but after entering university, I write less and less.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和重复，表达不够连贯。建议简化句子结构，使用连接词使表达更自然，并注意单词拼写。

例: I usually write about my feelings when I experience something impressive or interesting because I want to remember those moments in the future.

提案: 回答表达不够清晰，有重复和语法错误。建议理清句子结构，避免重复，使用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I believe the facts, such as the event and time, do not change, but subjective feelings and thoughts may change as I grow older and gain more experience.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和用词不当。建议注意冠词和介词的使用，表达更准确自然。

例: I used to prefer handwriting, but now with the advancement of smartphones and many journal apps, I prefer typing on my phone.

提案: 回答语法错误较多，表达不完整。建议使用完整句子，注意时态和否定结构，使表达更自然。

例: Well, I hardly keep any diaries. I have tried, but I failed to maintain the habit.

提案: 回答中有重复和语法错误，表达不够流畅。建议简化句子，避免重复，使用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I use photography to record my life, and I often post photos and my feelings on WeChat to share moments from different periods.

× I used to be right a lot because of the need to practice the compensations in my Senior High School, but after admitting to university, I don't write a lot.

✓ I used to write a lot because of the need to practice the compositions in my Senior High School, but after being admitted to university, I don't write a lot.

这里的错误是动词时态和用词错误。'used to be right' 应为 'used to write'，因为表达过去经常写作。'admitting to university' 应改为被动语态 'being admitted to university'，表示被录取。建议注意动词的正确形式和被动语态的使用。

× I my writing become less and less.

✓ My writing has become less and less.

句子缺少谓语动词，且时态应为现在完成时，表示从过去到现在的变化。应使用 'has become' 来表达。建议注意句子结构完整性和时态的正确使用。

× I usually to write the feelings when I encounter some things that impressive and interesting, because I think my memory cannot last so long and if I I write it down I will I can look back in the future.

✓ I usually write down my feelings when I encounter some things that are impressive and interesting, because I think my memory cannot last so long and if I write it down, I can look back in the future.

'usually to write' 中不应有 'to'，应直接用动词原形 'write'。'things that impressive' 缺少系动词 'are'。句中多余的 'I' 和 'will' 也应删除。建议注意动词形式和句子连贯性。

× I think the objective things are like what the event and what time will not change, but the subject, subjective feelings can feelings and thoughts can change with age and more experience.

✓ I think the objective things, like the event and the time, will not change, but the subjective feelings and thoughts can change with age and more experience.

句子中 'subject, subjective feelings can feelings' 结构混乱，重复且缺少连词。应调整为 'subjective feelings and thoughts'。另外，'like what the event and what time' 应简化为 'like the event and the time'。建议注意句子结构和连词的正确使用。

× I used to be a prefer the writing but now with the advance of smartphone and plenty of journal applications, I prefer to type in on my phone.

✓ I used to prefer writing, but now with the advance of smartphones and plenty of journal applications, I prefer to type on my phone.

'a prefer' 是错误搭配，应去掉 'a'。'the writing' 应改为 'writing'，因为这里是泛指。'advance of smartphone' 应为复数 'smartphones'。'type in on my phone' 中 'in' 多余，应去掉。建议注意冠词和介词的正确使用。

× Well, I nearly not keep any Diaries. I tried to but I failed to keep on.

✓ Well, I nearly don't keep any diaries. I tried to, but I failed to keep it up.

'nearly not keep' 语序错误，应为 'nearly don't keep'。'Diaries' 不需要大写。'keep on' 用法不当，常用表达是 'keep it up'。建议注意副词位置和固定搭配。

× I use photography to recall my life and we have a we have the an application called WeChat, so we can post the photos and feelings of the day or a period of life, a period of time I usually to record my life in the WeChat.

✓ I use photography to recall my life and we have an application called WeChat, so we can post photos and feelings of the day or a period of life. I usually record my life on WeChat.

'a we have the an application' 是多余且错误的冠词叠加，应改为 'an application'。'the photos' 改为 'photos' 更自然。'usually to record' 中 'to' 多余，应去掉。'in the WeChat' 应为 'on WeChat'。建议注意冠词使用和介词搭配。