Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答有些语法错误和表达不自然，比如“happy version of work”不合适，建议使用更准确的词汇表达工作忙碌。此外，句子结构较复杂且有些冗长，建议简洁明了地表达观点。

例: Actually, I don't write a lot nowadays. When I was in middle school, I often wrote compositions and diaries. However, now I rarely write because my busy work schedule leaves me little time.

提案: 回答中表达了喜好和原因，但最后一句“How to solve various challenges?”不完整且不自然，建议用完整句子并用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I prefer writing novels because I enjoy designing thrilling plots and creating different characters. For example, I once wrote an adventure story where the characters faced and solved various challenges.

提案: 回答中有语法错误，如“the most thing I write is the paper”应改为“most of what I write are papers”。建议注意名词单复数和冠词的使用，同时句子结构应更自然。

例: Yes, definitely. Currently, most of what I write are academic papers because I am a university student. However, when I start working, I will write more proposals and other work-related documents.

提案: 回答较为自然且表达清晰，但可以使用更多连接词使句子更流畅。

例: I prefer typing because I can use my iPhone or MacBook anytime and anywhere. On the other hand, handwriting requires me to carry paper and pen, which I find inconvenient.

提案: 回答内容完整，但“keep touch with my friends”应改为“keep in touch with my friends”。建议注意固定搭配的正确使用。

例: Actually, I hardly ever keep a diary because it takes a lot of time. However, sometimes I like to share moments from my life on social media, which is more convenient and helps me keep in touch with my friends.

提案: 回答中有语法错误，如“I'd like to taking photos”应为“I like taking photos”。最后一句表达不清晰，建议用更准确的表达。

例: I like taking photos to record my life. For example, I have taken many pictures of beautiful landscapes and moments spent with my friends. I think photography is a great way to capture and preserve happy memories.

× When I was in the middle school, I wrote different types of content such as compositions and Diaries.

✓ When I was in middle school, I wrote different types of content such as compositions and diaries.

The phrase 'in the middle school' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'in middle school' without 'the'. Also, 'Diaries' should not be capitalized as it is a common noun here.

× However, now I write rarely because the busy life and happy version of work enable me to hard find time to write.

✓ However, now I rarely write because busy life and the heavy workload make it hard for me to find time to write.

The adverb 'rarely' should be placed before the verb 'write'. 'The busy life' should be 'busy life' or 'a busy life'. 'Happy version of work' is incorrect; it should be 'heavy workload'. 'Enable me to hard find time' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'make it hard for me to find time'.

× For instance, I wrote an adventure story about characters. How to solve various challenges?

✓ For instance, I wrote an adventure story about characters and how they solve various challenges.

The second sentence 'How to solve various challenges?' is a fragment and lacks a subject and verb. It should be combined with the previous sentence to form a complete sentence.

× Now the most thing I write is the paper because I'm a student in the university.

✓ Now the main thing I write is papers because I'm a student at university.

'The most thing' is incorrect; it should be 'the main thing' or 'the most common thing'. 'The paper' should be plural 'papers' to indicate general writing. 'In the university' is better expressed as 'at university'.

× However, if I go to work, I will write more proposal and other tasks which I need to finish.

✓ However, if I go to work, I will write more proposals and other tasks which I need to finish.

'Proposal' should be plural 'proposals' to match 'more'.

× However, handwriting needs to carry paper and pen with me.

✓ However, handwriting requires me to carry paper and pen with me.

'Handwriting needs to carry' is incorrect; the subject 'handwriting' cannot carry things. The correct expression is 'handwriting requires me to carry'.

× Actually, I hardly ever keep a diary because I find it time consuming.

✓ Actually, I hardly ever keep a diary because I find it time-consuming.

'Time consuming' should be hyphenated as 'time-consuming' when used as an adjective.

× However, sometimes I like to record the moments from my life in the social media, which is more convenient and helps me keep touch with my friends.

✓ However, sometimes I like to record moments from my life on social media, which is more convenient and helps me keep in touch with my friends.

'In the social media' should be 'on social media'. Also, 'keep touch' should be 'keep in touch'.

× I'd like to taking photos to record my life.

✓ I'd like to take photos to record my life.

'Like to' should be followed by the base form of the verb, not the '-ing' form.

× For instance, I took many pictures about beautiful landscapes and the moment when I stayed with my friends.

✓ For instance, I took many pictures of beautiful landscapes and moments when I was with my friends.

'Pictures about' should be 'pictures of'. 'The moment when I stayed with my friends' is awkward; 'moments when I was with my friends' is more natural.

× I think it's a great way to record the happiness and make the happiness.

✓ I think it's a great way to record happiness and create happiness.

'The happiness' is incorrect here; 'happiness' is an uncountable noun and does not need 'the'. Also, 'make the happiness' is unnatural; 'create happiness' is better.