Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문법적 오류가 많으며, 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하고, 불필요한 단어를 제거하세요. 예를 들어, 'I write a lot because I have to complete many essays and assignments at university.'처럼 표현할 수 있습니다.

例: Yes, I write a lot because as a university student, I have to complete many essays and assignments regularly.

提案: 답변이 중복되고 문장이 매끄럽지 않습니다. 주제 문장을 명확히 하고, 이유를 구체적으로 설명하는 문장을 연결어와 함께 사용하세요.

例: I don't particularly enjoy writing, but I have a lot of experience with it. When I write, I feel organized and relaxed, which helps me clear my mind.

提案: 답변이 비교적 명확하지만, 문장 연결이 자연스럽지 않고 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 연결어를 사용해 문장을 부드럽게 연결하고, 구체적인 예를 추가하세요.

例: Yes, I think the things I write will change because I will start graduate school in September and change my major. Therefore, I will need to write more academic papers related to my new field.

提案: 'velocity of lighting'라는 표현이 부적절하며, 문장이 어색합니다. 'speed'라는 단어를 사용하고, 이유를 명확히 설명하세요.

例: I prefer typing because it is faster than handwriting. Since I will need to write many papers and articles in graduate school, speed is very important to me.

提案: 문장이 반복적이고 명확하지 않습니다. 습관과 빈도를 구체적으로 설명하고, 문장을 간결하게 만드세요.

例: I write in my diary once a day as part of my daily routine. I also like to write a to-do list for the next day to stay organized.

提案: 문장이 불완전하고 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 감정을 표현하는 부분을 명확히 하고, 문장을 완성하세요.

例: Actually, I don't usually record my life, but sometimes I write in my journal when I feel special emotions or when I am feeling depressed.

× I'm a university student so I should a lot of essays and assignment so I write to write in during the cemetery.

✓ I'm a university student so I should write a lot of essays and assignments, so I write during the semester.

The modal verb 'should' was used incorrectly without the main verb 'write'. Also, 'assignment' should be plural 'assignments' to match 'a lot of'. 'Cemetery' is a wrong word here; the correct word is 'semester'.

× I write to write in during the cemetery.

✓ I write during the semester.

'In during' is incorrect; only 'during' is needed. Also, 'cemetery' is a wrong word; it should be 'semester'.

× I have a lot of experience of writing when I I am When I am writing something I feel organized and relaxed feeling so.

✓ I have a lot of experience writing. When I am writing something, I feel organized and relaxed.

The sentence has repeated words 'I I am When I am' which is incorrect. Also, 'experience of writing' should be 'experience writing'. The phrase 'relaxed feeling so' is awkward and should be simplified to 'relaxed'.

× Yes I do, because in September I will go Graduate School and I will change my major, so I think I should change the things I write.

✓ Yes, I do, because in September I will go to Graduate School and I will change my major, so I think I should change the things I write.

The phrase 'go Graduate School' is missing the preposition 'to'. The future tense 'will go' is correct but needs 'to' before 'Graduate School'.

× I prefer typing because the velocity of lighting is different from handwriting.

✓ I prefer typing because the speed of typing is different from handwriting.

'Velocity of lighting' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'speed of typing'. 'Velocity' is a technical term and 'lighting' is unrelated here. 'Speed' is more appropriate.

× When I go to Graduate School, I should write the papers or articles of my major, so the velocity is important.

✓ When I go to Graduate School, I will have to write papers or articles related to my major, so speed is important.

'Should' is incorrectly used here to express future obligation. 'Will have to' or 'must' is more appropriate. Also, 'the papers or articles of my major' is better as 'papers or articles related to my major'. 'Velocity' should be 'speed'. Also, 'the velocity is important' is awkward; 'speed is important' is better.

× I write my diary once a day because my habit is writing To Do List in next days.

✓ I write in my diary once a day because my habit is writing a To-Do List for the next day.

'Write my diary' should be 'write in my diary'. 'To Do List' should be 'a To-Do List'. 'In next days' is incorrect; it should be 'for the next day'.

× So diary diary is my habit.

✓ So, keeping a diary is my habit.

The sentence is repetitive and awkward. 'Diary diary' is incorrect. It should be 'keeping a diary is my habit' or 'writing a diary is my habit'. Adding a comma after 'So' improves clarity.

× Actually, I don't prefer record my life, but I sometimes write the journal my journal because when I feel some special or depression or.

✓ Actually, I don't prefer to record my life, but I sometimes write in my journal when I feel special or depressed.

'Prefer record' should be 'prefer to record'. 'Write the journal my journal' is incorrect; it should be 'write in my journal'. The phrase 'feel some special or depression or' is incomplete and awkward; it should be 'feel special or depressed'. The sentence was incomplete and needed correction for clarity.