Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and slightly unclear. Try to be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, followed by specific examples. Avoid filler phrases like "right?" and redundant expressions.

例: I don't write a lot these days, but I often make To Do Lists to organize my work and daily routines. I also write lesson plans for my kids occasionally.

提案: Your answer is a bit repetitive and contains some unclear phrases. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid repeating phrases unnecessarily.

例: Currently, I mostly write about my work and daily routines, like To Do Lists. However, in the past, I used to keep a personal diary where I recorded my feelings and daily experiences.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to organize your thoughts logically. Also, avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: I don't think the things I write will change much because I mainly write about my work commitments, shopping lists, and my kids' lesson plans, which remain consistent.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more concise and better structured. Avoid filler phrases like "In my opinion I would say yes" and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I prefer handwriting because I value neat penmanship. In fact, I plan to learn calligraphy soon, as good handwriting can positively influence the reader's impression.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Try to use a clear topic sentence and link your ideas logically. Also, avoid repeating phrases and improve sentence structure for clarity.

例: I don't keep a diary nowadays, but during my school and college days, I wrote in one regularly. Writing helped me express my feelings and made me feel better.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains incomplete sentences. Try to organize your ideas clearly, use linking words, and avoid incomplete thoughts. Be specific about your methods and explain their purpose.

例: I used to record my life in a personal diary, but now I prefer taking photos of special moments. I have created an album to preserve these memories and cherish them later.

× Actually, nowadays I won't say that I write a lot, but I write most often, right?

✓ Actually, nowadays I wouldn't say that I write a lot, but I write quite often, right?

The modal verb 'won't' is incorrect here because it expresses refusal or future tense. The correct modal verb is 'wouldn't' to express a polite or hypothetical negation. Also, 'most often' is better replaced with 'quite often' to express frequency more naturally.

× But there was a day when I used to write how was my write, my personal diary where I I used to mention how my day has been.

✓ But there was a time when I used to write about my day, my personal diary where I used to mention how my day had been.

The phrase 'how was my write' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'about my day'. Also, 'has been' should be in past perfect 'had been' to maintain past narrative consistency. The repetition of 'I' is a typographical error and corrected.

× So yes, I used to write my feelings on that diary.

✓ So yes, I used to write my feelings in that diary.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect with 'diary'; the correct preposition is 'in' because feelings are written inside the diary.

× Actually I believe the things that I write won't change because as as of now I write only my work.

✓ Actually, I believe the things that I write won't change because, as of now, I write only about my work.

The phrase 'as as of now' contains a repetition error; it should be 'as of now'. Also, 'write only my work' is incomplete; it should be 'write only about my work' to be grammatically correct.

× My work commitments and what I have to buy are also my and also my kids lesson plans to manage their studies.

✓ My work commitments and what I have to buy are also mine, and also my kids' lesson plans to manage their studies.

The pronoun 'my' is incorrectly used; it should be 'mine' to indicate possession. Also, 'kids lesson plans' needs an apostrophe to show possession: 'kids' lesson plans'.

× In my opinion I would say yes, I prefer to write in a very good handwriting.

✓ In my opinion, I would say yes, I prefer to write with very good handwriting.

The phrase 'in a very good handwriting' is incorrect; 'handwriting' is uncountable and should be used with 'with' instead of 'in' and without the article 'a'.

× Also I have a plan to learn calligraphy in in few days because I prefer good handwriting a lot.

✓ Also, I have a plan to learn calligraphy in a few days because I prefer good handwriting a lot.

The phrase 'in in few days' contains a repetition error and is missing the article 'a'. The correct phrase is 'in a few days'.

× Basically, I nowadays I don't keep diary with myself, but there was a day, especially in my college days and my school days, I used to keep a diary with me all the time.

✓ Basically, nowadays I don't keep a diary with me, but there was a time, especially in my college and school days, when I used to keep a diary with me all the time.

The phrase 'keep diary with myself' is incorrect; it should be 'keep a diary with me'. Also, 'there was a day' is better expressed as 'there was a time' for general past periods. Added 'when' to introduce the relative clause.

× I used to write all the feelings, it makes me feel better and I also used to express myself better.

✓ I used to write all my feelings; it made me feel better and I also used to express myself better.

'All the feelings' is vague; 'all my feelings' is more precise. The tense in 'it makes me feel better' should be past tense 'it made me feel better' to maintain consistency with past narrative.

× I used to record my life mostly in my personal diary but nowadays I don't get the time.

✓ I used to record my life mostly in my personal diary, but nowadays I don't have the time.

The phrase 'I don't get the time' is informal and less clear; 'I don't have the time' is more appropriate and grammatically correct. Added a comma before 'but' to separate independent clauses.

× I also made me I. I have also made an album so that I keep a check on I so that I can cherish my.

✓ I have also made an album so that I can keep track and cherish my memories.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Corrected to a coherent sentence expressing the intended meaning: making an album to keep track and cherish memories.