Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your response more natural and concise by directly answering the question and providing clear reasons. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure.

例: Yes, I write quite often because it helps me observe and explain things clearly, which in turn improves my memory.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains some incorrect word choices, such as 'jubilant' and 'cop'. Try to use simpler, more accurate vocabulary and clarify your ideas. Also, keep your sentences grammatically correct and coherent.

例: I like to write down my thoughts every day because it helps me understand my feelings and makes me feel happier and more relaxed.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions like 'feel falsified'. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use appropriate vocabulary. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I tend to think that what I write can change because our feelings and thoughts evolve over time. For example, something I feel strongly about today might seem different in the future.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to structure your sentences better and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Also, avoid unnecessary words and be more concise.

例: It depends on the situation. At school, I prefer handwriting because it helps improve my memory and study effectiveness. However, when I want to communicate quickly, I prefer typing on my smartphone.

× You write a lot.

✓ I write a lot.

The student incorrectly used 'You' instead of 'I' when referring to themselves. Since the question was about their own writing habits, the correct pronoun is 'I'. This error is a misuse of pronouns and can confuse the listener about who is being referred to.

× it's really significant to I observe something and I explain something

✓ it's really significant that I observe something and explain something

The phrase 'significant to I observe' is incorrect because 'to' is not the correct preposition here and 'I' should be in the subject form without 'to'. The correct structure is 'significant that I observe'. This is an incorrect use of prepositions and sentence structure.

× I like to write my thoughts every day throughout my days because I can explore what I want, what on my mind, and it makes me more jubilant and more cop.

✓ I like to write my thoughts every day because I can explore what I want and what is on my mind, and it makes me more jubilant and more calm.

The phrase 'what on my mind' is missing the verb 'is'. Also, 'more cop' is unclear and likely a misuse of a word; 'calm' fits better in context. The sentence also has redundancy with 'every day throughout my days'. The incorrect use of pronouns and missing verbs cause confusion.

× I inclined to think yes, because we never know what will happen in the future.

✓ I am inclined to think yes, because we never know what will happen in the future.

The verb 'inclined' requires the auxiliary verb 'am' to form the correct present tense expression 'I am inclined'. This is a modal verb usage issue where the modal or auxiliary verb is missing.

× So maybe nowadays you write on the paper about your feelings better and you feel falsified, but maybe tomorrow you can feel different.

✓ So maybe nowadays you write on paper about your feelings better and you feel satisfied, but maybe tomorrow you can feel differently.

The phrase 'write on the paper' is better as 'write on paper' in general statements. 'Feel falsified' is incorrect; the correct word is 'satisfied'. Also, 'feel different' should be 'feel differently' to correctly modify the verb. These are incorrect uses of prepositions and adjectives/adverbs.

× It's depend on the situation right?

✓ It depends on the situation, right?

The verb 'depend' needs to be in the third person singular form 'depends' to agree with the singular subject 'It'. This is a modal verb usage and subject-verb agreement issue.

× When I in school I prefer to handwriting because handwriting can improve my memory skills and which is I can study more effectively.

✓ When I am in school, I prefer handwriting because it can improve my memory skills and help me study more effectively.

The sentence is missing the verb 'am' after 'I'. Also, 'prefer to handwriting' is incorrect; the correct form is 'prefer handwriting'. The phrase 'and which is I can study' is ungrammatical and should be rephrased. These are incorrect uses of prepositions and sentence structure errors.

× And when I wanted to tell something I will prefer to typing in the my smartphone.

✓ And when I want to tell something, I prefer typing on my smartphone.

The verb tense 'wanted' should be present 'want' to match the context. 'Prefer to typing' is incorrect; it should be 'prefer typing'. Also, 'in the my smartphone' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on' and the article 'the' is unnecessary before 'my smartphone'. These are errors in verb tense, prepositions, and article usage.