Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'well' to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, aim to be more concise and clear by structuring your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. For example, instead of saying 'I find it very interesting to note down into some sticky papers and some fast fancy journaling books,' you could say 'I enjoy jotting notes on sticky papers and in journaling books because it helps me remember important information.'

例: Yes, I write quite often. I enjoy jotting down notes on sticky papers and in journaling books because it helps me remember important information and ideas I want to revisit later.

提案: Focus on using clearer vocabulary and avoid awkward phrases like 'bend down something.' Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, you could say, 'I usually write down personal thoughts that I prefer to keep private. Additionally, I note important upcoming events and positive affirmations to motivate myself.'

例: I usually write down personal thoughts that I prefer to keep private. Additionally, I note important upcoming events and positive affirmations to motivate myself.

提案: Try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid informal phrases like 'over the moon' and 'gonna.' Also, use linking words to improve coherence. For example, you could say, 'Yes, the content I write changes depending on my mood. When I feel happy, I write positive experiences, whereas when I feel low, I write motivational advice to encourage myself.'

例: Yes, the content I write changes depending on my mood. When I feel happy, I write positive experiences, whereas when I feel low, I write motivational advice to encourage myself.

提案: Avoid uncertain phrases like 'I guess' and improve sentence clarity by using linking words. For example, you could say, 'I prefer handwriting because it adds a personal touch. Moreover, writing by hand helps me express my emotions more effectively than typing.'

例: I prefer handwriting because it adds a personal touch. Moreover, writing by hand helps me express my emotions more effectively than typing.

× I usually love to bend down something that is on my mind and which I don't really want to share with anybody else, something that I want to sort on my personal level.

✓ I usually love to write down something that is on my mind and which I don't really want to share with anybody else, something that I want to sort out on my personal level.

The phrase 'bend down something' is incorrect here. The correct verb phrase is 'write down' when referring to putting thoughts on paper. Also, 'sort on my personal level' should be 'sort out on my personal level' because 'sort out' means to resolve or organize something. Using the correct verb phrases improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× If I'm over the moon, there's something good that I pinned down.

✓ If I'm over the moon, there's something good that I pin down.

The sentence mixes past tense 'pinned' with present context indicated by 'If I'm over the moon'. To maintain tense consistency, 'pin down' in present tense should be used. This ensures subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage.

× when I feel a relatively low, I tend to write some good advice or positive affirmations that's gonna make me stay motivated.

✓ when I feel relatively low, I tend to write some good advice or positive affirmations that are gonna make me stay motivated.

The phrase 'a relatively low' is incorrect because 'low' here is an adjective describing mood and does not need an article 'a'. Also, 'that's' (that is) should be 'that are' to agree with the plural subject 'positive affirmations'. Correcting these ensures proper article use and subject-verb agreement.

× I find it very interesting to note down into some sticky papers and some fast fancy journaling books.

✓ I find it very interesting to note down on some sticky papers and some fast fancy journaling books.

The preposition 'into' is incorrect after 'note down'. The correct preposition is 'on' when referring to writing on surfaces like paper or books. Using the correct preposition clarifies the action and improves grammatical correctness.

× So I would prefer a written note rather than a typing.

✓ So I would prefer a written note rather than typing.

The phrase 'a typing' is incorrect because 'typing' is an uncountable noun here and does not need an article 'a'. Removing 'a' makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural sounding.