Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "everyone has a Gazette with them" and "dot on the books." To improve, try to use clearer and more natural expressions, and avoid redundancy. Also, keep your answer concise and directly address the question.

例: No, I don't write much by hand because nowadays most people use electronic devices. I usually write on my mobile phone or laptop instead of on paper.

提案: Your answer has some hesitation and filler words like "umm" and "uh," which affect fluency. Also, the explanation is a bit repetitive. To improve, try to speak more confidently and clearly, and organize your ideas logically using linking words.

例: I like to write about my daily experiences. Every night, I jot down what I did during the day. However, for my studies, I prefer typing notes on my phone or laptop because it's more convenient in this digital age.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical mistakes and incomplete sentences, which make it hard to understand. To improve, focus on structuring your response clearly with complete sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I believe what I write will change over time. Currently, I write about my daily life, but in the future, I might write about different topics depending on my needs and interests.

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it includes some filler words like "umm" and slightly awkward phrasing. To improve, try to eliminate fillers and use more natural expressions. Also, organize your reasons with linking words for better coherence.

例: I prefer typing because it's more convenient than handwriting. Also, typing helps save paper, which protects trees and benefits the environment.

× No, I don't write a lot because it's the contemporary era and everyone has a Gazette with them, so they prefer to write on the electronic devices and it's the same in my case as I write on my mobile phone and on my laptop dot on the books.

✓ No, I don't write a lot because it's the contemporary era and everyone has a Gazette with them, so they prefer to write on electronic devices and it's the same in my case as I write on my mobile phone and on my laptop, not on books.

The preposition 'on' is incorrectly used before 'the electronic devices' and 'the books'. We say 'write on electronic devices' without 'the' because it refers to devices in general. Also, 'dot on the books' seems to be a mishearing or typo; it should be 'not on books'. Correct preposition use improves clarity.

× I love to write about my daily life as in the umm, in the night I always write something which I have done, uh, in the day, but I don't write anything related to my study because it's the digital age.

✓ I love to write about my daily life as in the umm, at night I always write something which I have done during the day, but I don't write anything related to my study because it's the digital age.

The prepositions 'in the night' and 'in the day' are incorrect. The correct expressions are 'at night' and 'during the day' when referring to time periods. Using correct prepositions is essential for natural and grammatically correct English.

× Yeah, definitely. As the time goes, everything changed by the time expecting expect some things.

✓ Yeah, definitely. As time goes by, everything changes over time except for some things.

The original sentence mixes tenses and uses incorrect verb forms. 'As the time goes' should be 'As time goes by' to indicate ongoing time. 'Everything changed by the time expecting expect some things' is unclear and incorrect; it should be 'everything changes over time except for some things' to express a general truth in present tense.

× But I think the things I am writing now will be change according to the need of my upcoming days.

✓ But I think the things I am writing now will change according to the needs of my upcoming days.

The phrase 'will be change' is incorrect; the correct future tense form is 'will change'. Also, 'need' should be plural 'needs' to match 'upcoming days'. Using correct future tense forms and agreement improves sentence accuracy.

× As I prefer to write about my delivery now but I think I will not write that in.

✓ As I prefer to write about my daily life now, but I think I will not write about that in the future.

The phrase 'write that in' is incomplete and unclear. It should be 'write about that in the future' to specify the time frame and correct preposition use. Also, 'delivery' seems to be a mishearing of 'daily life'. Correct preposition and word choice are necessary for clarity.

× Honestly speaking, I prefer typing because I think it's more convenient way rather than writing as well as it saves the natural resources because ultimately if we reduce the use of the paper and it will reduce the use of the umm trees, cutting trees as well.

✓ Honestly speaking, I prefer typing because I think it's a more convenient way rather than writing, and it also saves natural resources because ultimately if we reduce the use of paper, it will reduce the cutting of trees as well.

The phrase 'more convenient way' needs an article 'a' before it. Also, 'the natural resources' should be 'natural resources' without 'the' because it refers to resources in general. The sentence structure is improved by adding conjunctions and clarifying phrases. Correct article use and sentence structure enhance clarity.