Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite long and somewhat unclear due to redundancy and grammatical errors. Try to keep your response concise and directly answer the question with clear sentences. Avoid repeating words and focus on organizing your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I write quite often, especially when I have free time from my busy job. I enjoy writing poems for my daughter and sometimes for my wife, as it helps me express my feelings.

提案: Your answer provides relevant content but lacks clarity and has grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific about your reasons. Also, avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: I enjoy writing poems for my three-year-old daughter because I love her deeply. Additionally, I appreciate poetry from various languages like Urdu and Hindi, which inspires me to write.

提案: Your answer is vague and unclear. Try to express your ideas more precisely and use appropriate vocabulary. Explain why you think your writing might change over time with specific reasons.

例: Yes, I believe what I write now may change in the future because my thoughts and experiences evolve over time, influencing my writing style and content.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Try to organize your ideas clearly and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect your points logically.

例: I prefer typing over handwriting because it's more convenient, especially when I'm traveling and don't have pen and paper. Typing on a keyboard also offers many options that make writing easier.

× I love to write Lord always because when I have a extra extra sphere time from my job

✓ I love to write Lord always because when I have some extra spare time from my job

The phrase 'a extra extra sphere time' contains singular/plural and word choice errors. 'Extra' should be preceded by 'some' for uncountable nouns like 'time', and 'sphere' is incorrect; the intended word is 'spare'. Correcting to 'some extra spare time' fixes the singular/plural and word choice issues.

× I have my work is very, you know, hectic

✓ My work is very, you know, hectic

The phrase 'I have my work is very hectic' incorrectly uses 'have' and creates a redundant structure. The correct form is simply 'My work is very hectic' without 'I have'.

× I love to write something, especially on the poems for my daughter

✓ I love to write something, especially poems for my daughter

The phrase 'on the poems' is incorrect because 'poems' is plural and does not require the definite article 'the' here. Also, 'write on the poems' is awkward; better to say 'write poems'.

× She's so beautiful. So I write down the points, points for my daughter as well As for a wife

✓ She's so beautiful. So I write down poems for my daughter as well as for my wife

The phrase 'the points, points' is unclear and likely a misuse of 'points' instead of 'poems'. Also, 'As for a wife' should be 'as for my wife' to correctly refer to the person.

× I convey when I'm free

✓ I write when I'm free

The verb 'convey' is incorrectly used here; the intended meaning is likely 'write'. Also, 'convey' is not typically used alone without an object in this context.

× my daughter is she's just three years old and she's very beautiful and her eyes is really good

✓ My daughter is just three years old and she's very beautiful and her eyes are really good

The phrase 'her eyes is' is incorrect because 'eyes' is plural and requires the plural verb 'are'.

× I listen different poetry from from India, Urdu in Hindi and different from language

✓ I listen to different poetry from India, Urdu, Hindi and different languages

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to'. Also, 'different from language' is incorrect; it should be 'different languages'.

× this all the things is, you know, always tangible

✓ all these things are, you know, always tangible

The phrase 'this all the things is' is incorrect. 'Things' is plural and requires 'are'. Also, 'this' should be 'these' to agree with plural 'things'.

× I would like to prefer always typing from the handwriting

✓ I would always prefer typing to handwriting

The verb 'prefer' is followed by 'to' when comparing two activities. 'Typing from the handwriting' is incorrect; it should be 'typing to handwriting'.

× you don't have a pen and paper in your like in your buses or when you're traveling somewhere

✓ you don't have a pen and paper with you, like in buses or when you're traveling somewhere

The phrase 'in your like in your buses' is awkward and incorrect. Also, 'pen and paper' is singular and plural combined but treated as singular here; the phrase 'with you' is more appropriate than 'in your'.

× I love to ride by online specially on the keyboard and mouse

✓ I love to write online, especially using the keyboard and mouse

The phrase 'ride by online' is incorrect; likely intended 'write online'. Also, 'specially on the keyboard and mouse' should be 'especially using the keyboard and mouse'.

× I love the So I love to typing on the keyboard because keyboard is a very quality and you have a lot of option in the keyboards

✓ I love typing on the keyboard because the keyboard is of very good quality and you have a lot of options on the keyboard

'I love to typing' is incorrect; should be 'I love typing'. 'Keyboard is a very quality' is incorrect; 'keyboard is of very good quality' is correct. 'A lot of option' should be plural 'a lot of options'. Also, 'in the keyboards' should be 'on the keyboard'.

× So that is why I love to write that keyboard

✓ So that is why I love to write on the keyboard

The phrase 'write that keyboard' is incorrect; it should be 'write on the keyboard'. The definite article 'the' is needed before 'keyboard' and the preposition 'on' is required.