Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid filler words like 'Umm' and ensure verb tenses agree, for example, 'I got into the habit' instead of 'I get into the habit'. Also, try to provide a more direct topic sentence and support it with specific details.

例: Yes, I used to write a lot in high school because my teachers assigned many essays and reports. This helped me develop a regular writing habit.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and filler words like 'Umm' and 'in in'. Use correct verb tenses, for example, 'I wrote' instead of 'I write' when referring to the past. Also, use more precise vocabulary instead of vague phrases like 'some social stuff'. Linking your ideas clearly will improve coherence.

例: During high school, I wrote many essays about social issues because I cared deeply about society. Nowadays, I prefer writing personal journals to express my feelings and thoughts.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be more structured and natural. Avoid contractions like 'cause' in formal speaking and use linking words such as 'because' or 'as'. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement and clarity, for example, 'I am growing from a high school student to a college student'.

例: Yes, I believe the things I write will change because my attitude towards life is evolving as I transition from being a high school student to a college student, and eventually entering the workforce.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and precise. Instead of 'typewriting', use 'typing'. Also, avoid contractions like 'cause' in formal speech. Adding a linking phrase will improve coherence.

例: I prefer typing because I write slowly by hand, and typing allows me to write much faster and more efficiently.

× I used to write a lot in my high school.

✓ I used to write a lot in high school.

The phrase 'in my high school' is incorrect when referring to the period of schooling; the correct expression is 'in high school'. This is a common usage in English to denote the time period rather than a physical location.

× At that time, my teacher asked us to do some assignments and I get into the habit of writing a lot.

✓ At that time, my teacher asked us to do some assignments and I got into the habit of writing a lot.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since the action happened in the past, 'get' should be changed to 'got' to maintain past tense consistency.

× in in my high school time I write a lot about some social stuff 'cause I care about the society.

✓ During my high school time, I wrote a lot about some social stuff because I cared about society.

The sentence incorrectly uses present tense 'write' and 'care' when referring to past events. Also, 'in in' is a repetition error. 'Because' should be used instead of the informal ''cause'. 'The society' is incorrect; 'society' without 'the' is appropriate here.

× But now I write more about my personal feelings.

✓ But now I write more about my personal feelings.

This sentence is correct as it refers to the present time, so no correction is needed.

× I write some journals.

✓ I write some journal entries.

The word 'journals' usually refers to entire publications; when referring to personal writings, 'journal entries' is more appropriate and natural in English.

× Yes, 'cause my attitude toward life is changing and I am growing from high school students to college students, and later I will go to work.

✓ Yes, because my attitude toward life is changing and I am growing from a high school student to a college student, and later I will go to work.

The phrase 'from high school students to college students' is incorrect because the subject is singular 'I'. It should be 'from a high school student to a college student'. Also, ''cause' should be 'because' for formal correctness.

× Definitely there will be something changing.

✓ Definitely, there will be some changes.

The phrase 'something changing' is awkward and ungrammatical here. 'Some changes' is the correct noun phrase to express future changes.

× I prefer typewriting 'cause I write really slow and I type faster than handwriting.

✓ I prefer typing because I write really slowly and I type faster than I write by hand.

'Typewriting' is less common; 'typing' is preferred. 'Slow' is an adjective; the adverb 'slowly' should be used to modify 'write'. Also, 'handwriting' refers to the style of writing, not the action; 'write by hand' is more appropriate. ''Cause' should be 'because' for formality.