Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorez la fluidité et la structure de votre réponse en évitant les répétitions et en utilisant des phrases plus naturelles. Par exemple, commencez par une phrase claire et développez avec des détails pertinents en utilisant des mots de liaison.

例: I don't write much these days because my studies in economics and mathematics focus more on numbers and analysis. However, when I was in high school, I enjoyed literature and wrote frequently.

提案: Faites attention à la grammaire et à la complétude des phrases. Évitez les hésitations et terminez vos idées clairement. Utilisez des mots de liaison pour rendre la réponse plus cohérente.

例: When I was younger, I loved writing my thoughts about poems or articles I read. Now, I mainly write in my journal daily to relieve stress and reflect on my feelings.

提案: Améliorez la clarté en évitant les répétitions et en terminant vos phrases correctement. Utilisez des expressions plus naturelles pour expliquer le changement de vos pensées.

例: Yes, definitely. My thoughts change daily as I grow and develop, which helps me become a better version of myself over time.

提案: Évitez les hésitations et les répétitions. Structurez votre réponse avec une phrase principale claire suivie de détails précis, en utilisant des mots de liaison pour la cohérence.

例: I prefer handwriting when journaling because it helps me relax and reduces my screen time, which is important since I use my smartphone and laptop extensively for work.

× literature is one of my favorite subjects

✓ literature is one of my favorite subjects

No correction needed here as 'literature' is singular and correctly used with 'is'.

× I write a lot

✓ I wrote a lot

The sentence refers to the past ('Back then'), so the verb should be in past tense. However, this is a tense issue, not singular/plural.

× as I'm in university student majoring in economics and mathematics

✓ as I'm a university student majoring in economics and mathematics

The phrase 'university student' requires an article 'a' before it because it is a singular countable noun.

× When I was younger, I love writing down all my thoughts about a poem or an article that I read on, umm, a book.

✓ When I was younger, I loved writing down all my thoughts about a poem or an article that I read in, umm, a book.

The main clause refers to the past ('When I was younger'), so the verb 'love' should be in past tense 'loved'. Also, 'read on a book' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'in a book'.

× that I read on, umm, a book

✓ that I read in, umm, a book

The correct preposition to use with 'read' and 'book' is 'in', not 'on'.

× But now I just write down all my daily thoughts on my journal to reduce my stress and bring up my.

✓ But now I just write down all my daily thoughts in my journal to reduce my stress and lift my mood.

The preposition with 'journal' should be 'in' not 'on'. The phrase 'bring up my' is incomplete and unclear; it should be 'lift my mood' or similar to complete the thought.

× I think my daily thoughts would change every single day because I grow every day.

✓ I think my daily thoughts change every single day because I grow every day.

The modal 'would' is incorrect here; the simple present 'change' fits better with 'I think' and habitual action.

× I'm developing, so that's why my thoughts are changing and I'll become a better version of myself day by day.

✓ I'm developing, so that's why my thoughts are changing and I will become a better version of myself day by day.

The contraction 'I'll' is acceptable but expanding to 'I will' is clearer in formal speech; no grammatical error here.

× It's just a normal thing of every.

✓ It's just a normal thing for everyone.

The phrase 'thing of every' is incomplete and incorrect; it should be 'thing for everyone' to make sense.

× I personally prefer handwriting umm when I write my journal because it keeps me relaxed and avoid all the smartphone and umm the screen

✓ I personally prefer handwriting, umm, when I write in my journal because it keeps me relaxed and helps me avoid all the smartphone and, umm, the screen

The preposition with 'write' and 'journal' should be 'in'. Also, 'avoid' needs a subject 'helps me avoid' to be grammatically correct.

× avoid all the smartphone and umm the screen

✓ avoid all the smartphones and, umm, the screen

'Smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' when referring to devices in general.