Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Та илүү байнгын, шууд хариулт өгч, илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой өгүүлбэрүүдийг ашиглах хэрэгтэй. Мөн илүү байгалийн, үр дүнтэй хэллэгийг ашиглахыг хичээгээрэй.

例: I don't write very often, but recently I have been writing many essays to prepare for my IELTS exam.

提案: Хариултаа илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой, алдаагүй хэлбэрээр илэрхийлэх хэрэгтэй. Мөн үгсийн сонголт болон өгүүлбэрийн бүтцийг сайжруулах шаардлагатай.

例: I like to write lyrics of my favorite songs because I enjoy music. However, currently I am focusing on writing essays to prepare for my IELTS exam.

提案: Хариулт нь ойлгомжгүй, дутуу бөгөөд холбоос үгсийг ашиглан илүү тодорхой, логик хариулт өгөх хэрэгтэй. Илүү нарийвчилсан тайлбар нэмэхийг зөвлөж байна.

例: I think the things I write will change after my exam because I won't need to prepare essays anymore. Instead, I might write a diary to record my daily life.

提案: Хариултыг илүү тодорхой, алдаагүй, логик холбоотой болгох хэрэгтэй. Мөн үгсийн сонголт болон өгүүлбэрийн бүтцийг сайжруулахыг зөвлөж байна.

例: I prefer typing on my computer because it is faster, but for the IELTS exam, I have to write by hand, so I practice handwriting for that purpose.

× Personally, for myself, I did not write so often.

✓ Personally, I did not write very often.

The phrase 'for myself' is redundant and unnecessary here. Also, 'so often' is less formal; 'very often' is more appropriate. The sentence is in past tense, which is correct given the context.

× If I write myself, I would love to write my.

✓ If I write by myself, I would love to write my own.

The phrase 'write myself' is incorrect; it should be 'write by myself' to indicate doing something alone. Also, 'write my' is incomplete; it should be 'write my own' to complete the thought.

× Write the lyrics of my favorite songs.

✓ I write the lyrics of my favorite songs.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a subject. Adding 'I' makes it a complete sentence.

× But right now I'm writing a lot of essays such as statistic is saying opinion is say to prepare for my IELTS exam.

✓ But right now I'm writing a lot of essays, such as statistics and opinions, to prepare for my IELTS exam.

The original sentence has incorrect and unclear phrases like 'statistic is saying opinion is say'. It should be 'statistics and opinions' to correctly express the types of essays. Also, a comma is needed after 'essays'.

× Probably it would change after I. Game I I 06 AM 'cause I don't have to prepare for it and.

✓ Probably it will change after I finish the game at 6 AM because I won't have to prepare for it anymore.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Would' is replaced with 'will' for future certainty. 'Game I I 06 AM' is corrected to 'finish the game at 6 AM'. 'Cause' is expanded to 'because' for formality.

× I think it would change into something. Like dairy?

✓ I think it would change into something like a diary.

The sentence fragment 'Like dairy?' is incomplete and unclear. It should be combined with the previous sentence and 'dairy' corrected to 'diary'.

× Personally, I would prefer typing on my computer, but it requires me to write by hand when.

✓ Personally, I would prefer typing on my computer, but I am required to write by hand when...

The sentence is incomplete and 'it requires me' is awkward. Changing to 'I am required' clarifies the subject and improves formality.

× It comes to IELTS writing.

✓ It comes to IELTS writing,

This is a sentence fragment; it should be connected to the previous or next sentence with a comma.

× Due to that, I would give my IELTS writing by hands on papers.

✓ Due to that, I would do my IELTS writing by hand on paper.

'By hands' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'by hand'. Also, 'on papers' should be 'on paper'.