Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contradictory at the beginning, which affects the natural flow. Try to start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then provide supporting details using linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I write quite a lot because I like to note down every thought that comes to my mind. This helps me express myself better, even though I am not very expressive in person.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains some fragmented sentences. Try to organise your ideas logically using linking words and avoid filler words. Be specific about what you write and why it is meaningful to you.

例: I enjoy writing about my emotions and daily experiences because it helps me reflect on my day. For example, after watching a movie, I write my thoughts about it, which gives me peace and clarity.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be more concise and structured. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and avoid hesitation sounds like 'M'.

例: Yes, I believe the things I write will change over time because my experiences and interests evolve as I go through life and visit new places.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but contains some unclear phrases like 'hundreds and feels more like me'. Try to use precise vocabulary and organise your points logically with linking words.

例: I prefer handwriting because it feels more personal and helps me focus better. When I type, I often get distracted by notifications, but handwriting allows me to concentrate and write smoothly.

× Not.

✓ No.

The word 'Not' alone is not a complete sentence and does not correctly answer the question. The correct negative response is 'No.' which is a complete and appropriate answer in this context.

× My experience is how my day went.

✓ My experience is about how my day went.

The sentence lacks a preposition to connect 'experience' and 'how my day went'. Adding 'about' clarifies the meaning and improves sentence structure.

× IE I enjoy writing about things that I love.

✓ I.e., I enjoy writing about things that I love.

The abbreviation 'IE' should be written as 'I.e.,' with proper punctuation and capitalization to correctly introduce an explanation.

× It's amazing Is it gives me some sort of peace and clarity.

✓ It's amazing as it gives me some sort of peace and clarity.

The original sentence is a run-on and lacks proper conjunction. Replacing 'Is' with 'as it' connects the ideas correctly.

× M.

✓ Hmm.

The interjection 'M.' is unclear and incomplete. Using 'Hmm.' better represents hesitation or thinking in spoken language.

× I believe that's my experiences are going to change.

✓ I believe that my experiences are going to change.

The phrase 'that's my experiences' incorrectly combines singular 'that is' with plural 'experiences'. Changing 'that's' to 'that' corrects the agreement.

× I prefer handwriting because hundreds and feels more like me.

✓ I prefer handwriting because it feels more like me.

The phrase 'hundreds and' is nonsensical here and likely a transcription error. Removing it clarifies the sentence and corrects the structure.