Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ควรปรับปรุงโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจนและใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น ใช้ 'because' หรือ 'so' เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผล นอกจากนี้ควรใช้คำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้องและเหมาะสม เช่น 'typing is faster than handwriting' และหลีกเลี่ยงคำที่ไม่ชัดเจนหรือผิดไวยากรณ์

例: I don't do much handwriting these days because I type a lot for my job as an executive. Typing is faster than handwriting, and it produces cleaner and easier-to-read documents.

提案: ควรใช้คำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้องและชัดเจน เช่น 'reports' แทน 'reportes' และปรับปรุงประโยคให้สมบูรณ์และมีความหมายชัดเจน รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมโยงความคิด เช่น 'especially' และ 'to see if'

例: I like to write reports, especially financial reports. I analyze the company's financial statements to determine whether the company will be profitable each quarter and year.

提案: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้ไวยากรณ์และคำศัพท์ให้ถูกต้อง เช่น 'after practicing a lot of reports and getting feedback from my boss' และใช้ประโยคที่สมบูรณ์และเชื่อมโยงกันอย่างมีเหตุผล นอกจากนี้ควรใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อแสดงการเปลี่ยนแปลง เช่น 'I have improved'

例: After practicing writing many reports and receiving feedback from my boss, I have improved. I have changed from just providing basic financial information to giving a deeper analysis.

提案: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้คำและไวยากรณ์ให้ถูกต้อง เช่น 'because' แทน 'be 'cause' และใช้คำที่เหมาะสม เช่น 'words' แทน 'wood' รวมถึงเชื่อมประโยคให้ลื่นไหลและสมบูรณ์

例: I prefer typing because it is neater and easier to read. Moreover, if I need to change some words, I don't have to erase everything; I can just add or delete words easily.

× This day I don't do much handwriting, but I do type a lot for my.

✓ These days I don't do much handwriting, but I do type a lot.

The phrase 'This day' is incorrect for expressing a general current time frame; 'These days' is the correct expression to indicate the present period. Also, 'for my' is incomplete and unclear, so it was removed for clarity.

× Executive in my that company for example typing is much faster compared to handwriting and it more needs and clean and easier to write to read.

✓ I am an executive in my company. For example, typing is much faster compared to handwriting, and it is neater, cleaner, and easier to write and read.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks proper structure. It needs to be divided into clear sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and proper use of adjectives and conjunctions.

× As I mentioned before, I type a lot of reportes, especially financial report.

✓ As I mentioned before, I type a lot of reports, especially financial reports.

The word 'reportes' is a misspelling of 'reports'. Also, 'financial report' should be plural to match 'a lot of reports'.

× I analyze the financial position statement of the company to see if the company or blade will or not in each quarter and year.

✓ I analyze the financial position statement of the company to see if the company will be profitable or not in each quarter and year.

The phrase 'or blade will or not' is unclear and incorrect. It should be 'will be profitable or not' to convey the intended meaning. Also, 'financial position statement' is acceptable but 'financial position' or 'financial statements' might be more common.

× After practicing a lot of reports an get procreate get their feedback from my boss.

✓ After practicing a lot of reports and getting feedback from my boss,

The original sentence is incomplete and contains unclear words like 'procreate'. It should be rephrased to 'After practicing a lot of reports and getting feedback from my boss,' to form a proper clause.

× I do have an improvement.

✓ I have improved.

The phrase 'do have an improvement' is awkward. 'I have improved' is a more natural and grammatically correct expression.

× I've changed from a. Just basic information of financial statement. Two more deep about the analyzing.

✓ I've changed from just providing basic information of the financial statement to a deeper analysis.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. They should be combined into one coherent sentence with correct prepositions and noun forms.

× I prefer. Typing. Be 'cause it is neater and easier to read.

✓ I prefer typing because it is neater and easier to read.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains unnecessary punctuation. 'Because' should be written fully and the sentence should be continuous.

× Moreover, if I have to work or change some words.

✓ Moreover, if I have to work on or change some words,

The verb 'work' requires a preposition 'on' to be correct. Also, the sentence is incomplete and should be connected to the next part.

× I don't have to erase everything after, but I just add more wood and everything will come down.

✓ I don't have to erase everything; instead, I just add more words and everything adjusts accordingly.

The original sentence contains a typo 'wood' instead of 'words' and the phrase 'everything will come down' is unclear. It should be rephrased for clarity and correctness.