Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use linking words to connect your ideas logically. Also, keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I write quite often because I find it hard to remember everything. Therefore, I usually make lists in my notebook to organise my daily tasks. For example, when I plan to visit a city, I write down all the things I need to carry. This helps me stay organised and not forget anything important.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Use a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. Avoid vague phrases and grammatical mistakes to make your response more natural and effective.

例: I like to write down my daily tasks and future plans because it helps me stay organised. For instance, during my training in 10th standard, I made notes that helped me remember important points. Additionally, these notes are useful when I want to share information with others.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific. Also, keep your sentences clear and concise.

例: Yes, I believe the things I write change over time. For example, in education, new information replaces old data, making some books outdated. Therefore, my writing tasks also evolve to include updated content.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. Use a clear topic sentence and linking words to compare your preferences effectively. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise.

例: It depends on the task I want to do. If I need to write something long, I prefer typing because it is faster and more convenient. However, for short notes or things I want to share physically, I prefer handwriting on paper.

× Meeting yes, I like to write on on our notebook 'cause I can't remember anything in my mind and there are a lot of things which I have to perform in my daily routine.

✓ Yes, I like writing in my notebook because I can't remember anything in my mind and there are a lot of things which I have to perform in my daily routine.

The word 'Meeting' is incorrectly used here; the correct form is the gerund 'writing' to express the activity the student likes. Also, 'on on our notebook' is incorrect; it should be 'in my notebook' to indicate writing inside a notebook.

× So I like to make a list over things on a paper and if I want to go to a city, so I made our list of things on my paper.

✓ So I like to make a list of things on paper and if I want to go to a city, I make my list of things on paper.

The preposition 'over' is incorrect here; the correct preposition is 'of' when making a list. Also, 'on a paper' should be 'on paper' as 'paper' is uncountable here. The tense 'made' is inconsistent with the present context; it should be 'make'. 'Our list' is incorrect; it should be 'my list' to show possession.

× I like to write to my daily task and I would like to write the things which I want to perform in my future.

✓ I like to write my daily tasks and I would like to write the things which I want to perform in the future.

The preposition 'to' is unnecessary after 'write' in this context. Also, 'my daily task' should be plural 'my daily tasks' to match the meaning. 'In my future' is better expressed as 'in the future'.

× For example, I'm a dad, my training journey in my 10 standard.

✓ For example, I am a student in 10th standard undergoing training.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'I'm a dad' seems incorrect in context. The sentence needs restructuring to clearly express that the student is in 10th standard and undergoing training.

× So I always make a note and it helped me to remember things very easily and in future if I want to give some nodes for other people, it was very convenient for me.

✓ So I always make a note and it helps me to remember things very easily and in the future if I want to give some notes to other people, it is very convenient for me.

The verb 'helped' is past tense but the context is present habitual action, so it should be 'helps'. 'Nodes' is a wrong word; the correct word is 'notes'. 'In future' should be 'in the future'. 'Was' should be 'is' to maintain present tense consistency.

× Definitely with the passage of time, everything has been changed.

✓ Definitely, with the passage of time, everything has changed.

The phrase 'has been changed' is passive and incorrect here; the correct present perfect active form is 'has changed' to indicate that things have changed over time.

× If we see in the field of education, there is always some new data uploaded and the old books are become extinct.

✓ If we look at the field of education, there is always some new data uploaded and the old books have become obsolete.

The phrase 'see in the field' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'look at the field'. 'Are become extinct' is incorrect; the correct form is 'have become obsolete' to express that old books are no longer used.

× So it was a common to have a change in our I'm my writing task.

✓ So it is common to have changes in my writing tasks.

The sentence has multiple errors: 'was' should be 'is' to indicate a general truth, 'a common' should be 'common' without 'a', 'I'm my' is incorrect and should be 'my', and 'writing task' should be plural 'writing tasks' to match the context.

× It could depend on a task which I want to perform.

✓ It could depend on the task which I want to perform.

The article 'a' is less appropriate here; 'the task' is better to specify the particular task being referred to.

× If I want to write a long sometimes so I use the typing as it is very convenient for me and less time consuming.

✓ If I want to write something long, I use typing as it is very convenient for me and less time-consuming.

'A long sometimes' is incorrect; it should be 'something long'. 'The typing' is incorrect; 'typing' without 'the' is correct. 'Less time consuming' should be hyphenated as 'less time-consuming' when used as an adjective.

× Whereas if I lie to write a small thing, our thing which I want to post physically so I would prefer to write it on a paper.

✓ Whereas if I like to write a small thing, or something which I want to post physically, I would prefer to write it on paper.

'Lie' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'like'. 'Our thing' is incorrect; it should be 'or something'. 'On a paper' should be 'on paper' as 'paper' is uncountable here.