Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., "good scent" not "good sense"), avoid redundancy, and use one or two supporting details with a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I love flowers for their elegant appearance and pleasant scent, so I often keep a small vase in my room to make the space more welcoming.

提案: Fix grammar and fluency issues, remove filler words, and be specific. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise supporting details using linking words (e.g., "for example", "also").

例: Yes, my mother loves flowers. For example, she usually keeps a fresh bouquet in a vase and has taught me simple arranging techniques she learned from her family.

提案: Good direct response and reason. Improve coherence by using linking words and slightly more precise vocabulary (e.g., "urbanised" → "urbanized") and avoid repeating similar nouns. Keep it concise.

例: Not really. My neighborhood is quite urbanized, with high‑rise buildings, shopping centres and restaurants, so there are few green spaces or flower beds nearby.

提案: Avoid repetition and informal phrases like "I am too lazy." Give one clear reason and, if possible, contrast with an exception using linking words (e.g., "however"). Correct grammar and keep it natural.

例: No, I rarely take photos of flowers because I don't usually take many photos in general. However, I might photograph a particularly beautiful or unusual bloom if I see one.

提案: Give a complete, specific example and avoid unfinished sentences. Use linking words to expand, and provide one or two contexts when flowers are commonly sent. Improve verb forms and clarity.

例: Yes, sending flowers is common. For example, people often give bouquets at graduations, weddings and birthdays to congratulate or show appreciation.

× I love flowers because of their elegant appearance and good sense.

✓ I love flowers because of their elegant appearance and pleasant scent.

The student used 'good sense' which is incorrect for describing smell; the correct adjective is 'pleasant' and the noun is 'scent' (or 'smell'). Replace 'good sense' with 'pleasant scent' to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× If I have chance I will try to keep it in the base and put it in my room to make more my room more appealing.

✓ If I have the chance, I will try to keep them in a vase and put them in my room to make my room more appealing.

Errors: missing article before 'chance', incorrect singular/plural for 'it/them' referring to flowers, wrong word 'base' instead of 'vase', and doubled 'more'. Corrections: add 'the' before 'chance'; use plural pronoun 'them' for flowers; use 'vase'; fix word order to 'make my room more appealing.' This matches the conditional future structure 'If I have the chance, I will...'. Note: ensure plural agreement with 'flowers.'

× Yes, my mother really the flowers and she generally keeps one in a vase at home.

✓ Yes, my mother really likes flowers and she generally keeps one in a vase at home.

The verb 'likes' is missing after 'really' and third person singular requires 'likes'. Insert 'likes' to form a complete clause and apply subject-verb agreement for 'my mother'.

× Ladies from my mother's generation typically love flowers and learned how to put, uh, flowers in a vase.

✓ Ladies from my mother's generation typically love flowers and learned how to arrange them in a vase.

The phrase 'put, uh, flowers in a vase' is informal and awkward. Use the verb 'arrange' for floral placement and replace 'flowers' with the pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition. Tense 'learned' is acceptable if referring to past learning.

× So so is she.

✓ So does she.

The student attempted to say that the mother also does the same, but 'So so is she' is ungrammatical. Use the correct auxiliary 'does' in the short affirmative 'So does she.'

× Unfortunately, there are not a lot of flowers in my neighborhood because it's quite an urbanised area.

✓ Unfortunately, there are not many flowers in my neighborhood because it's quite an urbanised area.

Use 'many' with countable plural nouns in negative contexts rather than 'a lot of' after 'not'. 'There are not many flowers' is more natural and grammatically appropriate.

× Instead, my neighborhood is full of high rise buildings and shopping centres and restaurants.

✓ Instead, my neighborhood is full of high-rise buildings, shopping centres, and restaurants.

Use the compound adjective 'high-rise' with a hyphen, and separate list items with commas. This improves clarity and follows standard punctuation for lists.

× I seldom take photos of flowers in my daily life because I am not a person who take photos.

✓ I seldom take photos of flowers in my daily life because I am not a person who takes photos.

Subject-verb agreement: the relative clause 'who takes' refers to 'a person' (third person singular), so the verb must be 'takes' not 'take.' Keep present simple tense for habitual actions.

× Essentially, I am too lazy to take photos and I don't find it exciting to take photos, so unfortunately, no.

✓ Essentially, I am too lazy to take photos and I don't find it exciting, so unfortunately no.

Redundant repetition 'to take photos' can be removed in the second clause. Also drop the comma before 'no' for a more natural spoken response. The sentence is otherwise fine in tense and meaning.

× I am not a person who take photos.

✓ I am not a person who takes photos.

Repeats correction for clarity: after 'who' referring to 'a person', use third person singular 'takes'. This is a subject-verb agreement issue resolved by correct verb form.

× Yes, many people send flowers as a gift to someone.

✓ Yes, many people send flowers as a gift to someone.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable, but slightly more natural alternatives are 'send flowers as gifts to someone' or 'send flowers to someone as a gift.' No preposition error requires change; kept original meaning.

× For example, at the graduation ceremonies, the students will send to the ones who will graduate and.

✓ For example, at graduation ceremonies, students give flowers to the graduates.

Original sentence has incomplete structure and awkward tense. Use simple present 'students give' or 'people give' as a general practice, and replace 'the ones who will graduate' with 'the graduates.' Remove trailing 'and' to complete the sentence.