Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and correct minor grammar mistakes. For example, instead of repeating 'flowers' multiple times, use pronouns or synonyms.

例: Yes, I love flowers. They are my favorite gifts to give on holidays and birthdays because they brighten up the day for my family and friends.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and complete your thoughts clearly.

例: Yes, my friend Shouk loves flowers. Whenever we go out, she buys a flower, takes a picture of it, and posts it on social media because she enjoys sharing her passion.

提案: Improve grammar by using correct plural forms and articles. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific details about the types of flowers or plants.

例: No, there aren't many flowers around where I live. However, we have a garden in front of our house where we plant various flowers and plants, which gives the place a unique and pleasant look.

提案: Work on sentence clarity and grammar. Avoid repetition and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, correct misused words like 'planet' instead of 'plant'.

例: Yes, I often take photos of beautiful flowers or plants when I go outside. I keep the pictures for myself or share them with my friends because we all love nature.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide clearer examples of occasions when flowers are given.

例: Yes, people often send flowers to show appreciation and love, especially during holidays like Eid, other celebrations, or birthdays, because flowers are considered a thoughtful gift.

× Yes I do love flowers.

✓ Yes, I do love flowers.

A comma is needed after 'Yes' to separate the introductory word from the main clause, improving sentence clarity.

× For example in on holidays and birthdays I would like to I give my family flowers and friends flowers also.

✓ For example, on holidays and birthdays, I would like to give my family flowers and friends flowers also.

The phrase 'in on' is incorrect; only 'on' is needed before 'holidays and birthdays'. Also, the phrase 'I would like to I give' is redundant; it should be 'I would like to give'. Commas are added for clarity.

× Yeah, I know my friend, her name is Shouk.

✓ Yeah, I know my friend; her name is Shouk.

A semicolon or period is needed to separate two independent clauses. Using a comma here creates a comma splice, which is a sentence structure error.

× Uh, every time we go out she will. She would buy one and take a picture of it and post it on social media and. And yeah.

✓ Uh, every time we go out, she buys one, takes a picture of it, and posts it on social media. And yeah.

The original sentences are fragmented and incomplete. Correcting verb tense to present simple 'she buys' fits habitual action. Also, combining actions into one sentence improves flow and clarity.

× We plant flowers and different kind of plants and give the place a unique look.

✓ We plant flowers and different kinds of plants and give the place a unique look.

The phrase 'different kind of plants' should be pluralized to 'different kinds of plants' to agree with the plural noun 'plants'.

× Yeah, I often when I go out of Tennessee a a beautiful planet or a beautiful flower, I will take a picture of it for myself or I will send it to my friends to show them because they all love the nature.

✓ Yeah, often when I go out and see a beautiful plant or a beautiful flower, I take a picture of it for myself or send it to my friends to show them because they all love nature.

The original sentence has extra words ('of Tennessee a a'), incorrect word choice ('planet' instead of 'plant'), and awkward structure. Correcting these improves clarity and grammar.

× Yes, often people send flowers to others to show their appreciation and love to them.

✓ Yes, often people send flowers to others to show their appreciation and love for them.

The correct preposition after 'love' in this context is 'for' rather than 'to'.

× Especially bring uh holidays like aid, other celebration or on birthday because it's a great gift to give others.

✓ Especially during holidays like Eid, other celebrations, or on birthdays because it's a great gift to give others.

The phrase 'bring uh holidays' is incorrect; it should be 'during holidays'. Also, 'aid' is corrected to 'Eid', and 'birthday' should be pluralized to 'birthdays' for consistency.