Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for natural flow. For example, instead of repeating 'flowers', you could use pronouns or synonyms. Also, linking your ideas smoothly will make your answer more coherent.

例: Yes, I absolutely love flowers because they make me feel refreshed. I especially enjoy the scent of roses and jasmine, which I find very calming.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by using the correct tense and providing more specific details. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'all the flowers' and try to link your ideas logically.

例: Yes, my mother loves flowers too. She often decorates our home with beautiful bouquets, which creates a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

提案: Try to improve grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words appropriately and avoid repetition. Also, be more specific about the types of flowers or gardening practices to enrich your answer.

例: I live in a small village where many people enjoy gardening. As a result, there are plenty of flowers in backyards, which helps everyone feel relaxed and happy.

提案: Your answer needs clearer expression and correct word choice. Avoid awkward phrases like 'flower sticks' and explain your ideas more clearly. Use linking words to connect your thoughts.

例: Yes, I often take photos of flowers because I want to create a personal gallery of beautiful blooms to enjoy in the future.

提案: Improve your grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Use appropriate tenses and avoid vague expressions. Also, provide more specific information about occasions or reasons for sending flowers.

例: Yes, people in my country often prepare bouquets to send to their loved ones on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries.

× Well, I live in a small village, however there are several flowers because my all village people like to garden flowers in their backyard area because it feels them relaxed and happy.

✓ Well, I live in a small village; however, there are several flowers because all the people in my village like to garden flowers in their backyard area as it makes them feel relaxed and happy.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'however' without proper punctuation and has awkward phrasing. 'However' should be preceded by a semicolon or period and followed by a comma when connecting two independent clauses. Also, 'my all village people' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'all the people in my village'. Additionally, 'because it feels them relaxed and happy' is incorrect; it should be 'as it makes them feel relaxed and happy' to properly express cause and effect.

× because it feels them relaxed and happy.

✓ because it makes them feel relaxed and happy.

The phrase 'feels them relaxed and happy' is incorrect because 'feel' is a linking verb and does not take an object in this way. The correct structure is 'makes them feel', where 'makes' is the causative verb and 'feel' is the bare infinitive. This properly conveys that gardening causes them to experience relaxation and happiness.

× Of course, my mother also liked flowers and she decorated my home with all the flowers.

✓ Of course, my mother also likes flowers and she decorates my home with flowers.

The question is in the present tense, so the answer should also be in the present tense to maintain consistency. Using 'liked' and 'decorated' (past tense) suggests the mother no longer likes flowers or decorates the home, which may not be intended. Changing to 'likes' and 'decorates' aligns the answer with the present tense context.

× there are several flowers because my all village people like to garden flowers in their backyard area

✓ there are several flowers because all the people in my village like to garden flowers in their backyard area

The phrase 'my all village people' is incorrect. The correct quantifier and noun order is 'all the people in my village'. This properly quantifies the group and places the possessive and noun in the correct order for natural English.

× They prepared a bouquet of flowers, and they send their near and dear ones who they like.

✓ They prepare a bouquet of flowers, and they send it to their near and dear ones whom they like.

The original sentence has tense inconsistency ('prepared' past tense and 'send' present tense) and incorrect pronoun usage. 'They send their near and dear ones who they like' is unclear and ungrammatical. The corrected sentence uses present tense for habitual action, adds 'it' to refer to the bouquet, and uses 'whom' as the object pronoun referring to 'near and dear ones'. Also, 'send it to' clarifies the action.

× I think when I take photos of flowers, I make a gallery in future of these flower sticks.

✓ I think when I take photos of flowers, I will make a gallery in the future of these flower sticks.

The phrase 'I make a gallery in future' is incorrect because it refers to a future action. The correct form is 'I will make a gallery in the future' using the future tense 'will make' and including the definite article 'the' before 'future'. This properly expresses the intended future plan.