Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete, and it contains redundancy. Try to give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, followed by specific reasons or feelings, using linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your answer is coherent.

例: Yes, I absolutely love flowers because their vibrant colours and variety mesmerize me. Moreover, receiving flowers feels very emotional as they brighten up my day and surroundings.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete, with some redundancy and grammatical errors. Provide a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons or examples, using linking words to make your answer coherent and natural.

例: Yes, many of my friends love flowers because they bring a fresh fragrance and create a divine atmosphere at home. For instance, my sister always decorates her room with fresh flowers.

提案: Your answer starts well but ends abruptly and is incomplete. Make sure to complete your sentences and provide specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, there are many flowers and plants around where I live because Bangalore is known as the Garden City of India. Therefore, I enjoy going for morning walks in the parks, which refreshes my mind and body.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and lacks clarity. Try to give a direct response first, then add specific details with linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your answer is natural and coherent.

例: Yes, I often take pictures of flowers, although not every day. I have a collection of flower photos that I usually post on my Instagram whenever I find something beautiful.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains incomplete and confusing sentences. Provide a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific examples, using linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases.

例: Yes, in my country, people often send flowers as gifts, especially during weddings. Additionally, it is a common ritual to place flowers on the deceased during funeral ceremonies.

× I absolutely love and get mesmerized by flowers.

✓ I absolutely love flowers and get mesmerized by them.

The original sentence lacks clarity and proper structure. 'Love and get mesmerized by flowers' is awkward; adding 'flowers' after 'love' and replacing the second 'flowers' with 'them' improves clarity and flow.

× I love watching random coloured flowers.

✓ I love watching randomly coloured flowers.

'Random' is an adjective, but here an adverb 'randomly' is needed to modify 'coloured'. Using 'randomly coloured' correctly describes the flowers' colours.

× It is very emotional to see or get flowers because of their variety and I.

✓ It is very emotional to see or receive flowers because of their variety and beauty.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and I' which is incomplete and unclear. Replacing 'get' with 'receive' is more appropriate, and adding 'beauty' completes the thought.

× Most of my friends love flowers and receiving them too because it completely evokes a sense of freshness and the smell which is which creates divineness in our home and I.

✓ Most of my friends love flowers and receiving them too because it evokes a sense of freshness and a smell that creates divineness in our home.

The sentence is long and confusing with repeated words ('which is which') and ends abruptly with 'and I'. Simplifying and correcting the structure improves clarity.

× Yes, there are lots of flowers and plants near me as I live in the Garden City of India, Bangalore.

✓ Yes, there are lots of flowers and plants near me because I live in the Garden City of India, Bangalore.

Using 'as' here is less clear; 'because' better expresses the reason for the presence of flowers and plants.

× I absolutely go love going for a morning walk in the gardens in the park which really starts my.

✓ I absolutely love going for a morning walk in the gardens and parks, which really starts my day.

The phrase 'go love going' is incorrect; 'love going' is correct. Also, 'gardens in the park' is awkward; 'gardens and parks' is clearer. The sentence ends abruptly; adding 'day' completes the thought.

× Yes I do take lots of pictures of flowers, not in a daily routine but I do have variety of flowers picture and I usually post it in my Instagram whenever I.

✓ Yes, I do take lots of pictures of flowers, not daily, but I have a variety of flower pictures and usually post them on my Instagram whenever I can.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'not in a daily routine' is awkward, 'variety of flowers picture' should be 'variety of flower pictures', and 'post it' should be 'post them' to agree with plural 'pictures'. The sentence ends abruptly; adding 'whenever I can' completes it.

× Yes, people do often send flowers as a form of gift, particularly in weddings, and this is also a ritual and most of the funeral ceremonies to place flowers on the dead bodies I suffered.

✓ Yes, people often send flowers as gifts, particularly at weddings, and it is also a ritual in most funeral ceremonies to place flowers on the deceased.

The sentence is confusing and ends with 'I suffered' which is unrelated. 'Form of gift' should be 'gifts', 'in weddings' should be 'at weddings', and 'dead bodies' is better expressed as 'the deceased'. Removing 'I suffered' clarifies the sentence.