Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, phát âm và độ mạch lạc. Tránh lặp từ, sửa thì và thứ tự từ (ví dụ: “is is”, “going getting getting warmth warm”). Nên trả lời trực tiếp với một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể (vị trí, đặc điểm nổi bật) và dùng liên từ để nối ý.

例: My hometown is in central Vietnam, in a small coastal countryside. It is close to the beach, so I often go there to swim and relax when the weather is warm.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp câu chủ đề và cấu trúc. Tránh dịch trực tiếp từ tiếng Việt. Nên bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng (I like... because...), sau đó dùng liên từ (for example, also) và đưa thông tin cụ thể như hoạt động giảm stress hoặc ví dụ về hàng xóm thân thiện.

例: I like the slow pace of life in my hometown because it helps me relax. For example, I can take long walks in the morning to enjoy fresh air, and my friendly neighbors often chat and help each other.

提案: Cải thiện thì động từ và độ chính xác: dùng thì hiện tại hoàn thành nếu thích hợp (I have lived...), tránh tiếng lắp (uh, I'm have). Trả lời trực tiếp (for most of my life), rồi nêu rõ giai đoạn hiện tại và kế hoạch tương lai bằng câu ngắn gọn và có liên từ để nối ý.

例: I have lived in my hometown for most of my life. However, since I turned 18 I have moved to the city to study, and I might return in the future to start a business.

提案: Trả lời rõ ràng và có quan điểm kèm lý do: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề (Yes/No/It depends), sau đó giải thích cụ thể với ví dụ (cơ hội việc làm, giải trí, chi phí). Tránh lặp và sửa ngữ pháp (e.g., "when I'm still young" -> "when I was younger").

例: It depends on the person. For me, it wasn't ideal when I was younger because there were fewer job and entertainment opportunities, but after studying I would consider returning because the cost of living is lower and community life is pleasant.

× My hometown is located in the middle of Vietnam in a small countryside is is spreading near the coastals thus far.

✓ My hometown is located in the middle of Vietnam in a small rural area that spreads near the coast.

The original sentence has redundant words, incorrect noun choice and a missing relative clause connector. 'Countryside' as a noun is uncountable and 'rural area' is more natural. 'Is is spreading' is a repetition and wrong tense; use 'that spreads' to describe location. 'Coastals' is incorrect; use 'the coast' or 'coastal area'. Simplify the sentence structure and use a relative clause for clarity.

× I usually visit the beach when the weather going getting getting warmth warm.

✓ I usually visit the beach when the weather gets warm.

The phrase has multiple progressive and repeated words. Use the simple present 'gets' to describe a habitual condition. 'Warmth' is a noun; use adjective 'warm'. Remove repeated words to make the sentence grammatical and concise.

× The reason why I'm really love my countryside is on slow pace life.

✓ The reason why I really love my countryside is the slow pace of life.

'I'm really love' mixes present continuous with a stative verb; use 'I really love'. 'On slow pace life' is ungrammatical; the correct noun phrase is 'the slow pace of life'. Rearranging to 'the reason why I really love... is the slow pace of life' makes the sentence natural.

× Is red reduce my stress and give me a a lot of time to enjoy the fresh air.

✓ It reduces my stress and gives me a lot of time to enjoy the fresh air.

The sentence lacks a proper subject; 'Is red' is incorrect. Use 'It reduces' with subject-verb agreement in present simple for habitual effect. Remove the duplicated 'a a' and use 'a lot of time'. Ensure verbs agree with singular subject 'it'.

× It's also about my neighbor is really friendly.

✓ My neighbors are also really friendly.

'It's also about' is awkward and unnecessary. Use plural 'neighbors' if referring to people in the area and ensure subject-verb agreement: 'neighbors are'. This yields a direct, grammatical statement.

× I lived there for most of my time in life, but uh, since I'm turned 18, I'm have, I have to go to the city for studying, but in the future maybe I'm gonna come back and start a business, who knows?

✓ I lived there for most of my life, but since I turned 18 I have had to go to the city to study. In the future maybe I will come back and start a business; who knows?

Use 'most of my life' rather than 'time in life'. 'Since I'm turned 18' mixes tenses and incorrect form; use 'since I turned 18'. 'I'm have' is ungrammatical; use present perfect 'I have had to' to express an action continuing from past to present. 'For studying' should be 'to study'. Avoid informal 'gonna' in formal responses; use 'will' for future intent.

× Uh, it depends mostly on that young person to me.

✓ Uh, it mostly depends on the young person.

'Depends on that young person to me' has wrong preposition and extraneous 'to me'. Use 'depends on the young person' or 'depends on each young person'. Place adverb 'mostly' before the verb phrase for natural word order.

× Uh, I don't really like to spend time at my hometown when I'm still young, but when I'm, uh, have study enough, maybe I, I would like to come back to.

✓ Uh, I didn't really like to spend time in my hometown when I was young, but when I have studied enough, maybe I would like to come back.

Use 'in my hometown' rather than 'at'. Tense consistency: refer to past preference with 'didn't really like' and 'when I was young'. 'Have study enough' should be 'have studied enough' (present perfect). 'Come back to' is incomplete; 'come back' alone suffices. Ensure verb forms and prepositions are correct.