Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating location, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition (hospital/hospitable) and correct prepositions (between Patiala and Bathinda).

例: I come from Bernala, a small town located between Patiala and Bathinda. It’s my birthplace and I enjoy living there because the community is very friendly and the surroundings are peaceful.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence, then add two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct phrases like "surroundings" and "very shopping centers." Include an example to make it concrete.

例: What I like most about Bernala is its peaceful surroundings. In addition, people are very hospitable and often help each other, for example neighbors organize festivals together, and there are several small shopping centers where you can buy local goods.

提案: Give a concise direct answer with correct tense and clearer phrasing. Combine time information with a brief reason. Avoid awkward words like "inhabit."

例: I have lived in Bernala since I was born, so about 22 years. I’ve stayed because the town is peaceful and I have strong family ties there.

提案: Answer directly and provide two specific supporting points with linking words. Correct vocabulary (gyming → gyms; "every facilities available here basic" → "basic facilities are available"). Give a brief example of activities for young people.

例: Yes, I think it is. Firstly, there are several gyms and sports clubs where young people can train. Secondly, there are shopping centers and basic facilities such as cafes and internet cafes, so young people can socialise and stay active.

× I live in a small city named Bernala, it is in the middle of Patiala in Bathinda and the people here are very hospitable and it's my birthplace.

✓ I live in a small city named Bernala; it is between Patiala and Bathinda, and the people here are very hospitable. It is also my birthplace.

The phrase 'in the middle of Patiala in Bathinda' uses incorrect prepositions and is unclear. Use 'between Patiala and Bathinda' to indicate location relative to two places. Also two independent clauses were joined with a comma; use a semicolon or split into sentences. 'It's my birthplace' is clearer as 'It is also my birthplace.' Suggestions: use clear prepositions for location and proper clause separation.

× So I enjoy living here because the environment here is very good and people here are also very generous and hospital.

✓ I enjoy living here because the environment is very pleasant, and the people are also very generous and hospitable.

The adjective 'hospital' is incorrect; the correct adjective for someone who welcomes guests is 'hospitable.' Repetition of 'here' is unnecessary. Use 'pleasant' instead of vague 'very good.' Also ensure parallel structure: 'generous and hospitable.'

× The most likable thing about my hometown is its surrounding.

✓ The most likable thing about my hometown is its surroundings.

The noun should be plural: 'surroundings' refers to the area around the town. 'Surrounding' as a noun is incorrect. Use plural form for the concept of nearby environment.

× It has a very serene environment and people here are very hospitable.

✓ It has a very serene environment, and the people are very hospitable.

No major grammar error but repetition of 'here' is unnecessary. Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction and remove redundant words for clarity.

× They always are ready to help each other no matter what.

✓ They are always ready to help each other, no matter what.

Word order in English typically places the adverb 'always' after the auxiliary verb: 'are always.' Also add a comma before the contrasting clause for readability.

× Apart from this, there are also very shopping centers to explore.

✓ Apart from this, there are also many shopping centers to explore.

'Very' cannot modify a count noun. Use the quantifier 'many' with plural countable noun 'shopping centers.' Also remove 'also' or keep as needed; here 'also' is acceptable.

× It's my birthplace so I am residing here from childhood and it's been around 22 years of my inhabit in this place.

✓ It is my birthplace, so I have lived here since childhood, and I have lived in this place for about 22 years.

Use present perfect 'have lived' with 'since' or 'for' to describe an action that began in the past and continues now. 'Residing here from childhood' is incorrect; use 'have lived here since childhood.' 'It's been around 22 years of my inhabit' is ungrammatical; use 'for about 22 years.'

× I love being in this area because it's very serene and very peaceful.

✓ I love being in this area because it is very serene and peaceful.

Minor redundancy: using both 'very serene and very peaceful' is repetitive. Keep one 'very' or remove both. Use 'it is' for formality.

× Yes, it's a good place for youngsters as the area has many sports facilities like gyming and personal training areas.

✓ Yes, it is a good place for young people, as the area has many sports facilities such as gyms and personal training centers.

'Gyming' is not a noun in English; use 'gyms.' 'Youngsters' is informal; 'young people' is better. 'Like' should be 'such as' when giving examples. 'Personal training areas' is awkward; 'personal training centers' is clearer.

× Apart from this, there are many shopping areas and.

✓ Apart from this, there are many shopping areas.

The sentence is incomplete due to the trailing 'and.' Remove 'and' to complete the sentence.

× Every facilities available here basic.

✓ Every facility available here is basic.

'Every' should be followed by a singular noun: 'every facility.' Also the sentence lacks the verb 'is' and the adjective 'basic' needs the copula. Alternatively, use 'All facilities here are basic.'