Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and complete the sentence, avoid trailing words. Start with a clear topic sentence and add one concise supporting detail using a linking word. Also correct minor place-name inconsistency (Kentachi vs Kentucky) and tense/word choice (use "about" instead of "20 to 30").

例: My hometown is Kentachi. It is about 20 to 30 minutes from Central City by train, so it’s easy to commute to the city for work or shopping.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid filler words (like, kinda). Use linking words to connect points and give one specific example to support your opinion. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences).

例: I like Kentachi because it feels very cosy and community-oriented. For example, neighbours often organise seasonal events in the park, which makes the area friendly and welcoming.

提案: Use correct tense and avoid informal fillers (basically, like). Answer directly with a topic sentence (duration) and a brief clarifying detail if needed. Ensure place name consistency and simple past/present perfect usage.

例: I lived in Kentachi for 16 years; I was born and raised there before I moved to New Zealand when I was 16.

提案: Be specific about what makes it good for young people. Replace vague words (cozy facility) with concrete examples (parks, sports centres, cafes). Use linking words (for example, moreover) and correct phrasing about transport (frequent and punctual).

例: Yes, I think so. For example, there are modern sports centres and affordable cafés for young people, and public transport is frequent and generally punctual, which makes getting around easy.

× My hometown is Kentachi. It's 20 to 30 minutes from Central City by train and.

✓ My hometown is Kentachi. It's 20 to 30 minutes from Central City by train.

The original sentence ends with an extra conjunction 'and' that creates a sentence fragment and incorrectly uses 'and' after a complete clause. Remove the trailing 'and' to form a complete statement. Ensure sentences do not end with unnecessary conjunctions.

× What I like about Kentachi is like how cozy it is, so it's kinda small city, so it has a friendly community and kind of comfortable place.

✓ What I like about Kentachi is how cozy it is; it's a small city with a friendly community and a comfortable atmosphere.

Multiple issues: unnecessary filler words ('like', 'kinda', 'kind of') and incorrect noun phrases ('small city' needs an article or restructuring; 'comfortable place' is awkward). Replace fillers with precise wording, add articles where needed ('a small city', 'a comfortable atmosphere'), and connect ideas clearly (use a semicolon or conjunction). These changes improve formality and grammatical correctness.

× I was born and raised in Kentucky, and then I moved to New Zealand when I was 16. So basically I had lived in Kentucky for like 16 years.

✓ I was born and raised in Kentucky, and then I moved to New Zealand when I was 16. So basically I lived in Kentucky for 16 years.

The original uses past perfect 'had lived' unnecessarily; simple past 'lived' is appropriate because the sequence of events is clear (birth/raising then move). Also remove filler 'like' for clarity. Use past simple to state durations that end before another past event.

× I think so because there's a lot of cozy facility for young people and traffic transport is also like frequently and arrives on time every time.

✓ I think so because there are a lot of cozy facilities for young people, and public transport is frequent and usually arrives on time.

Several problems: 'there's' should be 'there are' to agree with plural 'a lot of facilities' (subject-verb agreement/there be issue). 'cozy facility' needs plural and article. 'traffic transport' is incorrect collocation; 'public transport' is appropriate. 'is also like frequently' mixes forms; use adjective 'frequent' or adverbial phrase 'is frequent' and 'usually arrives on time' for clarity. Remove filler 'like'.