Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: แก้ไขโครงสร้างประโยคให้เป็นธรรมชาติและถูกหลักไวยากรณ์ เช่น ใช้ประโยคเดียวหรือสองประโยคที่ชัดเจน และหลีกเลี่ยงการซ้ำคำ ตัวอย่างเช่น เริ่มด้วยประโยคหัวข้อแล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดสั้น ๆ

例: My hometown is Bangkok, the capital city of Thailand. It is a large, bustling city known for its temples and busy markets.

提案: ปรับคำศัพท์และไวยากรณ์ให้ถูกต้อง ให้ข้อมูลเฉพาะเจาะจงมากขึ้น และใช้คำเชื่อมเมื่อให้รายละเอียด เช่น ระบุระบบขนส่งที่ต้องการและเหตุผลว่าทำไมชอบ

例: I really like the public transport in Bangkok because there are many options for getting around, such as the MRT, BTS and extensive bus routes. These make commuting faster and more convenient.

提案: ปรับคำให้เป็นธรรมชาติและเชื่อมประโยคให้ลื่นไหลมากขึ้น ระวังการใช้ tense และพจน์ เช่น ‘my family and my work are’ และลดความซ้ำซ้อน

例: I have lived in Bangkok for my entire life — about 30 years. I still live here because my family and my job are based in the city.

提案: ขจัดเสียงอืม/อาห์ และแก้ข้อผิดพลาดไวยากรณ์ รวมถึงใช้คำที่เหมาะสมกว่า เช่น 'educational institutions' และให้ตัวอย่างหรือเหตุผลที่ชัดเจนมากขึ้น

例: In my opinion, Bangkok is a great place for young people because it has many educational institutions, such as universities and vocational colleges, where they can gain skills and prepare for their careers.

× My hometown is Bangkok, is the capital city of Thailand.

✓ My hometown is Bangkok, the capital city of Thailand.

The sentence incorrectly repeats 'is' and misuses the article. Use 'the' before 'capital' because there is only one capital city of Thailand. Remove the extra 'is' to form a correct noun phrase 'Bangkok, the capital city of Thailand.' Suggestion: Combine clauses into a single correct clause: 'My hometown is Bangkok, the capital city of Thailand.'

× I really love about transportation because it has many way to go around the city such as MIT, BTS and buses.

✓ I really love the transportation because there are many ways to get around the city, such as the MRT, BTS and buses.

Errors: 'love about' is incorrect — use 'love' without 'about'; 'has many way' has count and verb issues — 'many ways' is plural and requires 'are' or 'there are'; 'go around' is less natural than 'get around'; 'MIT' likely meant 'MRT' and needs the definite article for systems. Suggestions: Remove 'about', use plural 'ways', use 'there are' or rephrase, correct 'MRT', and use 'get around.' Correct structure: 'I really love the transportation because there are many ways to get around the city, such as the MRT, BTS and buses.'

× I have lived in Bangkok all of my life for 30 years.

✓ I have lived in Bangkok all my life.

Mixed time expressions: 'have lived...for 30 years' and 'all of my life' are redundant together; choose one. For a lifespan until now, present perfect 'have lived' with 'all my life' is natural. If specifying duration, use 'I have lived in Bangkok for 30 years.' Suggestion: Use one expression for duration to avoid redundancy.

× I still live here because my family and my work is in the city.

✓ I still live here because my family and my work are in the city.

Subject-verb agreement: compound subject 'my family and my work' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is.' Suggestion: Use plural verb with compound subjects: 'are.'

× In my opinion, uh, Bangkok is a great place for young people because it have it has many Education Center here and they can prepare themselves for the future.

✓ In my opinion, Bangkok is a great place for young people because it has many education centers and they can prepare themselves for the future.

Problems: 'it have it has' shows confusion and duplication; correct third person singular verb is 'has.' 'Education Center' should be plural and not capitalized unless a proper name; 'here' is unnecessary. Suggestions: Use 'it has many education centers' and remove duplicated words and filler 'uh.'