Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and provide clearer, specific details. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific facts with linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words.

例: My hometown is Silat, which is in the northeast of Bangladesh. It is well known as a tourist destination because many families visit year-round for sightseeing and local festivals.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and give two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, 'for instance' or 'also'). Reduce hesitations and avoid vague phrases like 'any kind of people.'

例: I like the services available in my hometown, especially education and healthcare. For instance, there are several good schools and a modern hospital, and also many tourist attractions that make it lively.

提案: This question asks about duration; respond directly with a time expression first. Then, if necessary, add one brief reason or detail using a linking word. Avoid repeating previous content and focus on answering the question asked.

例: I have lived in Silat for twenty-two years. Because it offers good schools and hospitals, my family decided to stay here since I was a child.

提案: Give a clear yes/no topic sentence and then support it with two specific reasons using linking words such as 'because' and 'for example.' Avoid unclear phrases like 'frustration trend.' Keep sentences natural and concise.

例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because there are many entertainment venues and sports clubs. For example, the town has a football academy and a community center that organize music and cultural events.

× My hometown is Silat which is northeast part of Bangladesh.

✓ My hometown is Silat, which is in the northeast part of Bangladesh.

Missing preposition 'in' before 'the northeast part of Bangladesh' and missing comma before the nonrestrictive clause. Use 'in the northeast part' to indicate location and add a comma to separate the clause.

× It is widely famous for tourist destination Every year and every month come in this place for entertainment and for their spending time with with their family and others.

✓ It is widely known as a tourist destination; people come here every month and every year for entertainment and to spend time with their family and others.

Original has sentence structure issues and awkward phrasing. 'Famous for tourist destination' is incorrect — use 'known as a tourist destination'. 'Every year and every month come in this place' lacks a subject and proper verb order; change to 'people come here every month and every year'. Use 'to spend time' instead of 'for their spending time'. Also remove duplicate 'with'.

× I like many things about my hometown. My hometown is late.

✓ I like many things about my hometown. My hometown is lively.

The adjective 'late' is incorrect in this context. Likely intended to describe a busy or lively place. Replace with an appropriate adjective such as 'lively' or 'bustling'.

× Uh, in this place, uh, there are many facilities, uh, uh, here, uh, such as, uh, education facilities, uh, tourist facilities and hospital facilities.

✓ In this place there are many facilities such as educational facilities, tourist facilities, and hospitals.

Reduce filler words and correct word forms: use 'educational facilities' instead of 'education facilities' and plural 'hospitals' instead of 'hospital facilities'. Also remove redundant commas.

× Uh, in this place, any kind of people come from, there are many destinations.

✓ People from many places come here; there are many destinations.

Original has incorrect order and a fragment 'any kind of people come from'. Recast into two coordinated clauses: 'People from many places come here' and 'there are many destinations'.

× I like many things about my hometown. It is a large town with well developed facilities such as good schools, popular tourist attractions and several quality hospitals.

✓ I like many things about my hometown. It is a large town with well-developed facilities such as good schools, popular tourist attractions, and several quality hospitals.

Add hyphen in 'well-developed' and a comma before 'and' for clarity. The sentence otherwise is acceptable.

× Because of in this place there are many kind of people spending day by day they are.

✓ Because many kinds of people live and spend their days here, the town is vibrant.

Original mixes 'because of' with an incorrect clause. Use 'because' + clause or 'because of' + noun phrase. Use 'many kinds of people' or 'people from many backgrounds' and provide a clear main clause; 'they are' is incomplete. Make sentence purposeful and grammatical.

× Uh, definitely, uh, in my hometown, uh, good place for young people because of there are many kind of entertainment place and many kind of say, sports, uh, sports institutions, uh, in this place available.

✓ Definitely, my hometown is a good place for young people because there are many kinds of entertainment places and sports institutions available.

Original lacks the verb 'is' after the subject. Fix subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'many kinds of' and 'entertainment places'. Remove fillers and redundant commas.

× That's why, uh, young people, uh, they are, uh, frustration trend and they are.

✓ That's why young people here often feel frustrated.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Use concise structure: 'young people here often feel frustrated.' Avoid unnecessary pronoun repetition ('young people, they') and vague phrase 'frustration trend'.