Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Отличный ответ по содержанию, но есть небольшие ошибки и избыточность. Уточните название города (Makhachkala), избегайте повторов о месте рождения и проживания, используйте более простую и естественную структуру из 2–3 предложений, и свяжите идеи связкой. Также проверьте правильность написания и произношения названия.

例: My hometown is Makhachkala, the capital of Dagestan. I was born and raised there, and it lies by the Caspian Sea surrounded by mountains, which gives it beautiful scenery.

提案: Хорошая структура и конкретные детали. Чтобы улучшить — используйте связки для плавности и добавьте один конкретный пример фестиваля или традиции. Также избегайте фраз типа «to be honest», если они не несут значимой информации.

例: I love my hometown for its strong sense of community, because people are friendly and always ready to help. For example, our annual Sabantuy festival brings neighbours together with music and traditional games.

提案: Ответ понятен, но повторение «childhood» делает фразу громоздкой; есть грамматическая ошибка (remind → reminds). Сократите до 1–2 предложений, исправьте согласование глагола и добавьте конкретный временной ориентир или пример воспоминания для обогащения.

例: I've lived there since childhood, so I have many memories of the place; for instance, I often remember playing by the old riverside near our neighbourhood.

提案: Содержательно хороший ответ, но есть грамматические ошибки и неуклюжие фразы (a fewer → fewer; about offer → that offer). Структурируйте ответ: сначала краткий вывод (yes/no/partly), затем 2–3 поддерживающих причины с примерами. Можно предложить решение или сравнение с городами побольше.

例: Partly. While there are several colleges that offer a range of programs, the town has fewer job opportunities than bigger cities, so many young people move away to find work.

× My hometown is Makhachikalava, capital of Dagestan.

✓ My hometown is Makhachkala, the capital of Dagestan.

The city name was misspelled. Use 'Makhachkala' and include the definite article 'the' before 'capital' because we refer to a specific known title. Also use a comma to set off the appositive; correct spelling and article ensure clarity.

× I was born and have been living here all my life.

✓ I was born here and have lived here all my life.

Use 'was born' for the past event and 'have lived' (present perfect) to express an action continuing from the past to the present. 'Have been living' is also possible, but 'have lived' is more natural with 'all my life'. Ensure parallel structure.

× Makhachkala is nestled in a striking mountainous landscape but showcases the natural beauty of the Caucasus region.

✓ Makhachkala is nestled in a striking mountainous landscape and showcases the natural beauty of the Caucasus region.

The conjunction 'but' suggests contrast, while the sentence presents complementary ideas; use 'and'. No article change required. 'A striking mountainous landscape' is correct.

× To be honest, I love my hometown for its sense of community.

✓ To be honest, I love my hometown for its sense of community.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Preposition usage 'for' is appropriate to state a reason.

× People here are friendly and hospitable, always ready to help you.

✓ People here are friendly and hospitable and are always ready to help you.

Original is acceptable conversationally, but adding 'are' before 'always' clarifies the predicate and maintains parallel structure. This improves formal accuracy.

× What's more, local events and festivals bring us closer, celebrating our heritage.

✓ What's more, local events and festivals bring us closer and celebrate our heritage.

Use 'and celebrate' to match the plural subject 'events and festivals' and maintain parallel tense and structure. Gerund 'celebrating' is not wrong, but finite verb is clearer.

× I have been living here since my childhood and each corner of the town remind me of my childhood and the people who shaped my life.

✓ I have lived here since my childhood, and each corner of the town reminds me of my childhood and the people who shaped my life.

Use 'have lived' to express a state continuing from childhood to now; 'have been living' is possible but 'have lived' fits with 'since my childhood.' Also correct subject-verb agreement: 'each corner...reminds' (singular subject requires singular verb). Remove repeated phrase 'my childhood' for concision if desired.

× My native town has a fewer employment opportunities compared to larger cities.

✓ My native town has fewer employment opportunities compared to larger cities.

Use 'fewer' without the article 'a' when modifying a countable plural noun. 'A fewer' is incorrect.

× Many young people have to move for better career prospects.

✓ Many young people have to move to seek better career prospects.

Original is acceptable, but 'move for better career prospects' is less precise; 'move to seek' clarifies purpose. Tense is correct.

× Besides, there are several educational institutions about offer programs in different fields, but our economy cannot provide enough job openings.

✓ Besides, there are several educational institutions that offer programs in different fields, but our economy cannot provide enough job openings.

Replace incorrect phrase 'about offer' with a relative clause 'that offer' to correctly link institutions and the programs they provide. Sentence structure improved while retaining contrast 'but'.