Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接且自然，使用更地道的表达并简化句子结构。可以给出城市名称或更具体的地理参考，同时避免冗长或语法小错误。建议用一句主题句开头，然后补充一两句细节。

例: My hometown is Xuzhou, a medium-sized city in the central-eastern part of China. It has a population of around 3 million, and it's well-connected by rail and highway to nearby provinces.

提案: 回答要更连贯，注意句子完整性与时态一致，使用连接词把想法串起来；提供更具体的细节（比如河名、活动频率或特殊节日），避免短句断裂。

例: I love the river that runs through the town centre because it offers cheap leisure activities. In summer we often rent a small boat for an hour, and in the evenings we walk along the riverside promenade to watch colourful sunsets.

提案: 注意时态和信息顺序：先直接回答时长，然后补充过去与现在的情况。尽量用简洁句子表达个人经历，并给出具体细节如原因或常做的事情。

例: I've lived there for 19 years. After high school I moved to another city for university and work, but I still return two or three times a year for family gatherings and local festivals.

提案: 回答观点明确很好，但可以更自然地展开理由并给出具体例子或比较（例如哪些行业机会少、年轻人去哪里发展），同时用连接词使陈述更流畅。

例: To be honest, I don't think it's ideal for young people because there are few well-paid jobs and limited career development in tech or creative industries. As a result, many young people move to bigger cities like Shanghai or Beijing for better opportunities.

× My hometown is a medium sized and populous city which is located in the mid east part of China.

✓ My hometown is a medium-sized and populous city located in the mid-east part of China.

句子中“which is located in the mid east part of China”中使用了冗余的关系代词短语，改为“located in...”更简洁自然。mid east 应使用连字符或拼写为 mid-east，且 medium sized 作为复合形容词应加连字符为 medium-sized。中文建议：将冗长关系从句简化为过去分词短语，复合形容词用连字符。

× I like the river which cross the Town Center.

✓ I like the river which crosses the town center.

动词与主语不一致：关系从句中主语是 the river（单数），谓语应为 crosses（第三人称单数）。另外 Town Center 不需要大写每个单词，除非是专有名词。中文建议：注意关系从句里动词要与先行词单复数一致，第三人称单数要加 -s。

× In the summer days, we could just spend a little money and enjoy boating on the river. At dusk. We could walk on the beach and enjoy the sunset.

✓ In the summer days, we could just spend a little money and enjoy boating on the river. At dusk, we could walk on the riverbank and enjoy the sunset.

原句将“At dusk.” 单独作为句子，结构不完整，应与后句连成一个完整句子。另外“walk on the beach” 若指河边散步更恰当用 riverbank（河岸）而非 beach（海滩），但若确指海滩可保留。中文建议：避免句子碎片，时间状语（At dusk）应与主要谓语连成完整句；根据语境选择合适名词（riverbank 或 beach）。

× I have lived there for 19 years, which are the most peaceful and lovely days I've ever had.

✓ I lived there for 19 years, which were the most peaceful and lovely days I've ever had.

说话描述已结束的生活阶段（毕业后搬走），应使用过去时 lived 而非现在完成时 have lived。引导定语从句中的代词 which 指代前面的整段时间，应使用复数谓语 were。中文建议：已结束的时间段用过去时，定语从句谓语要与先行词（19 years）在人称和数上保持一致。

× When I graduated from high school, I moved to another city.

✓ When I graduated from high school, I moved to another city.

该句语法正确，时态一致，表示过去发生的动作，保留原句。中文建议：无修改必要，过去时用于描述已发生事件。

× Now I would come back for two or three times a year for the family gathering.

✓ Now I come back two or three times a year for family gatherings.

原句中 would 用法不当，表示习惯性现在动作应使用一般现在时 come back。次数表达也不需要介词 for，且 family gathering 应为复数或用 the 可视语境调整。中文建议：表达现在的经常性行为用一般现在时，不要滥用 would，次数短语不加 for。

× Honestly, no. There are limited job positions for young people, especially in the terms of the salary and welfare, so there are plenty of young people moving out for good development opportunities.

✓ Honestly, no. There are limited job opportunities for young people, especially in terms of salary and welfare, so many young people move away to seek better development opportunities.

limited job positions 搭配不自然，应改为 limited job opportunities。短语 in the terms of 应为 in terms of。plenty of ... moving out 时态和用词不太合适，表一般事实用 many ... move away to seek更自然。中文建议：使用固定搭配（job opportunities, in terms of），表达常态事实用一般现在时，avoid awkward literal translations like "moving out for good development opportunities"，用更地道表达。