Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the hometown and its location, then add one or two specific, relevant details (avoid repeating adjectives). Use linking words if needed. Pronounce proper nouns clearly.

例: I come from Yiling, a small city in Guangxi Province in southeast China. It’s a peaceful place surrounded by karst hills, and the local people are known for being very friendly.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then specific supporting details. Avoid incomplete sentences and repetition. Use linking words (for example, also, moreover) and give concrete examples of what ‘friendly and helpful’ means. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

例: I like my hometown mainly because the people are very friendly and helpful. For example, neighbors often help each other with farming and celebrations, and my friends organize community events every year. Also, the close-knit social life made my childhood very enjoyable.

提案: Use the correct tense and provide a concise answer followed by a relevant detail. Avoid hesitations and unrelated fragments. For duration questions, state the exact period and then add one brief related fact (e.g., why you left or a memory).

例: I lived in my hometown for about 20 years before I moved to Shenzhen for work two years ago. During that time I attended the local schools and grew up in a small, friendly village.

提案: Answer directly, then explain with specific reasons and, if possible, offer a brief contrast or suggestion. Avoid sentence fragments. Use linking words such as ‘because’, ‘so’, or ‘however’ to connect ideas clearly.

例: No, I don’t think it’s a good place for young people because there are limited job opportunities and few higher education options. Therefore, many young people move to bigger cities like Shenzhen to find work and further their studies.

× My hometown is Yiling, which is located in the Guangxi province, southeast of China.

✓ My hometown is Yiling, which is located in Guangxi province in southeast China.

Use of definite article 'the' before some proper place names is incorrect. 'Guangxi' is a province name and does not need 'the'. Also use 'in southeast China' (no article) and omit extra comma for clarity.

× It is a peaceful and quiet city.

✓ It is a peaceful, quiet city.

When two adjectives independently modify a noun, they should be separated by a comma. This clarifies that both 'peaceful' and 'quiet' describe the city.

× People there are friendly.

✓ People there are friendly.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change required. Included for completeness.

× My hometown is amazing because people there are very friendly and helpful.

✓ My hometown is amazing because the people there are very friendly and helpful.

Adding the definite article 'the' before 'people' makes the reference specific to the residents of the hometown, which is more natural in English.

× Besides, I have a lot of friends there who I have been.

✓ Besides, I have a lot of friends there whom I have known for a long time.

Relative pronoun and verb usage are incorrect. Use 'whom' for the object of the verb and 'have known' (present perfect) to indicate continuing acquaintance; add 'for a long time' to complete the idea.

× I have no.

✓ I have none.

Fragment 'I have no.' is incomplete. Replace with 'I have none.' or complete the idea (e.g., 'I have no relatives there'). 'None' is the correct pronoun when standing alone.

× I had lived in my hometown for about 20 years before I moved to Shenzhen for work.

✓ I lived in my hometown for about 20 years before I moved to Shenzhen for work.

Use simple past ('lived') rather than past perfect ('had lived') because the sequence is clear and both actions are completed in the past; past perfect is unnecessary here.

× At the first, uh, very fantastic village.

✓ At first, it was a very pleasant village.

Original fragment is ungrammatical. 'At first' is the correct adverbial phrase, and a full clause is needed: 'it was a very pleasant village.' Avoid fillers like 'uh' in written answers.

× No, I don't see so.

✓ No, I don't think so.

'I don't see so' is nonstandard. Use 'I don't think so' to express disagreement or a negative opinion.

× My hometown is not good for young individuals because it has limited job opportunities.

✓ My hometown is not a good place for young people because it has limited job opportunities.

Use 'a good place for young people' which is more natural than 'good for young individuals.' 'Young people' is the preferred phrase and adding 'a' before 'good place' is necessary.

× So that young people.

✓ So young people tend to leave.

Original fragment is incomplete. Provide a full clause explaining the consequence: 'So young people tend to leave.' This completes the idea and fits the context.