Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit long and has some grammatical errors. Try to make your answer more natural and concise by using correct sentence structures and avoiding redundancy. For example, you can say: "My hometown is Narangoche, a small city near the Shitaloka river in Dhaka division. It has a large population."

例: My hometown is Narangoche, a small city near the Shitaloka river in Dhaka division. It has a large population.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and lacks coherence. Try to avoid repeating the same ideas and use linking words to connect your points. Also, be specific about the places you like. For example, you can say: "I like my hometown because it has many interesting places to visit, such as parks and historical sites. I enjoy exploring these places because I love traveling."

例: I like my hometown because it has many interesting places to visit, such as parks and historical sites. I enjoy exploring these places because I love traveling.

提案: Your answer is confusing and grammatically incorrect. Try to answer directly and clearly. For example, you can say: "I have lived in my hometown since I was born, so I have lived here for 21 years. It is my permanent address and I love living here."

例: I have lived in my hometown since I was born, so I have lived here for 21 years. It is my permanent address and I love living here.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks specific details. Try to provide more specific reasons and use linking words to improve coherence. For example: "Yes, my hometown is the most popular business city in the country, so it offers many job and education opportunities for young people. Therefore, I believe it is a good place for them."

例: Yes, my hometown is the most popular business city in the country, so it offers many job and education opportunities for young people. Therefore, I believe it is a good place for them.

× My hometown is Narangoche, it is located nearby Shitaloka river and it is a small city in Dhaka division and there are lots of people are living in my hometown.

✓ My hometown is Narangoche. It is located near the Shitaloka River and it is a small city in the Dhaka division. There are lots of people living in my hometown.

The sentence had redundancy with 'there are lots of people are living' which is incorrect. The correct form is 'there are lots of people living'. Also, 'nearby' is an adjective/adverb meaning 'close by' but here 'near' is the correct preposition to use with 'located'. 'Shitaloka river' and 'Dhaka division' need definite articles 'the' because they are specific geographical names.

× My hometown is Narangoche, it is located nearby Shitaloka river and it is a small city in Dhaka division and there are lots of people are living in my hometown.

✓ My hometown is Narangoche. It is located near the Shitaloka River and it is a small city in the Dhaka division. There are lots of people living in my hometown.

The preposition 'nearby' is incorrectly used; 'near' should be used with 'located'. Also, 'in Dhaka division' should be 'in the Dhaka division' because it is a specific region.

× There are so many places for visiting in my hometown and I love to explore different things and I love to travel.

✓ There are so many places to visit in my hometown, and I love to explore different things and travel.

The phrase 'places for visiting' is incorrect; the correct form is 'places to visit'. Also, 'I love to travel' is fine but can be combined smoothly.

× There are so many visiting places for in my hometown.

✓ There are so many places to visit in my hometown.

The phrase 'visiting places for in' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'places to visit in'. The preposition 'for' is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× It was my birthplace and I am now 21 years old.

✓ It is my birthplace and I am now 21 years old.

'It was my birthplace' is incorrect because birthplace is a permanent fact and should be in present tense 'It is my birthplace'.

× So I lived here from 21 years old because the my hometown is my permanent address and I love to live here.

✓ So I have lived here since I was born because my hometown is my permanent address and I love living here.

The phrase 'I lived here from 21 years old' is incorrect. The correct form is 'I have lived here since I was born' or 'for 21 years'. Also, 'the my hometown' is incorrect; 'my hometown' is correct. 'I love to live here' is better as 'I love living here' for natural expression.

× So I lived here from 21 years old because the my hometown is my permanent address and I love to live here.

✓ So I have lived here since I was born because my hometown is my permanent address and I love living here.

The phrase 'the my hometown' is incorrect because 'my' already specifies the noun; 'the' is unnecessary and wrong here.