Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có một số lỗi ngữ pháp và lặp từ (ví dụ: 'is is'). Bạn nên chú ý tránh lỗi này để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn. Ngoài ra, bạn có thể thêm liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: I'm from a small village near the center of Hanoi city called Tanguy. It is a beautiful place with a peaceful atmosphere, and the people there are hardworking and friendly.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng liên từ để kết nối các ý và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: 'reduce stress' nên là 'reduce my stress'). Ngoài ra, câu trả lời có thể cụ thể hơn về cảnh quan hoặc hoạt động bạn thích.

例: What I like most about my hometown is its peaceful atmosphere and beautiful natural scenery. Although I don't live there now, whenever I return, I always feel relaxed and my stress is reduced because I can enjoy the fresh air and quiet environment.

提案: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy dùng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và chính xác hơn về thời gian.

例: I lived in my hometown from the time I was born until I was 11 years old. It is where I grew up, went to school, and lived with my parents who gave me love and protection. I have many fond memories with my friends there, and my childhood was a beautiful time in my life.

提案: Câu trả lời có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và thiếu liên từ để kết nối ý. Bạn nên chú ý chia động từ đúng và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời rõ ràng hơn.

例: I think living in my hometown is great if someone wants a simple life. However, for young people who prefer modern lifestyles and are looking for more job opportunities, entertainment options, or better education, moving to a big city is a better choice.

× My hometown is is beautiful place with peaceful atmosphere with hardworking and friendly people.

✓ My hometown is a beautiful place with a peaceful atmosphere and hardworking, friendly people.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'beautiful place' and 'peaceful atmosphere'. Also, 'is is' is a repetition error. Articles are necessary before singular countable nouns. Additionally, 'with' should be replaced by 'and' to connect the adjectives describing people.

× My hometown is is beautiful place with peaceful atmosphere with hardworking and friendly people.

✓ My hometown is a beautiful place with a peaceful atmosphere and hardworking, friendly people.

The noun 'people' is plural and correctly used, but the sentence structure needs 'a' before singular nouns 'place' and 'atmosphere'. Also, 'with' should be replaced by 'and' to connect adjectives properly.

× I think the things I like the most about my hometown is peaceful atmosphere and beautiful natural scenery.

✓ I think the things I like the most about my hometown are the peaceful atmosphere and beautiful natural scenery.

The subject 'things' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. Also, 'the' is needed before 'peaceful atmosphere' and 'beautiful natural scenery' as specific things are being referred to.

× Now I don't live in my hometown, but whenever I return to my hometown, I always feel relaxed, reduce stress and enjoy.

✓ Now I don't live in my hometown, but whenever I return, I always feel relaxed, reduce stress, and enjoy myself.

The verb 'reduce' should be in the base form to match the parallel structure with 'feel' and 'enjoy'. Also, 'enjoy' needs an object, so 'myself' is added for clarity.

× I lived there when I was, uh, from I was born until I was 11.

✓ I lived there from when I was born until I was 11.

The phrase 'when I was, uh,' is unnecessary and interrupts the sentence flow. The correct past tense structure is 'I lived there from when I was born until I was 11.'

× This place is a place I was born, I grew up, I went to school, I lived with parents, love and protection.

✓ This is the place where I was born, grew up, went to school, and lived with my parents, love, and protection.

The sentence is a run-on and lacks proper conjunctions and relative pronouns. Using 'where' connects the clauses properly. Also, 'my parents' is needed for clarity.

× I created a lot of memory with my friends.

✓ I created a lot of memories with my friends.

'Memory' should be plural 'memories' because 'a lot of' refers to multiple items.

× My childhood in my hometown is beautiful time in my life.

✓ My childhood in my hometown was a beautiful time in my life.

Since childhood is in the past, the verb should be past tense 'was'. Also, 'a' is needed before 'beautiful time'.

× I think live in hometown is great if I want to have a simple life, but for young people who love modern lifestyles, who looking for more job opportunity, more entertainment option or looking for higher learning condition, uh we should move into big city.

✓ I think living in my hometown is great if I want to have a simple life, but for young people who love modern lifestyles, who are looking for more job opportunities, more entertainment options, or better learning conditions, we should move to a big city.

'Live' should be 'living' to function as a gerund. 'Who looking' should be 'who are looking' to agree in tense and subject-verb agreement. 'Job opportunity', 'entertainment option', and 'learning condition' should be plural. 'Move into' is better as 'move to'. Also, 'a' is needed before 'big city'.