Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise and clear.

例: I was born in Cairo, Egypt, often called the city that never sleeps because it's always bustling with activity. For instance, you can find markets, festivals, or street performances happening at any time. Additionally, Cairo has a rich culture full of history and traditions, which makes it a fascinating place to live.

提案: Good answer with specific details. To improve, try to use more linking words to connect your ideas and avoid minor grammar mistakes like 'it's' instead of 'its'.

例: From my perspective, what I love most about my hometown is its delicious and diverse cuisine, which truly reflects our rich cultural heritage. For example, traditional dishes like Kushari are very popular and often bring the community together during festivals and family gatherings. Moreover, I am fascinated by our unique culture, which adds to the town's charm.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant. To improve, avoid filler phrases like 'I guess' and try to combine sentences using linking words for better flow.

例: I have lived in my hometown all my life, which is more than 20 years. I have never moved away because I really like the friendly atmosphere here; in fact, I don't think you can find such a welcoming neighborhood anywhere else.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and correcting minor grammar errors, such as 'entertainment optional places' should be 'entertainment options' and 'club' should be plural. Also, use linking words to connect ideas.

例: As far as I am concerned, my hometown is more suitable for older people because it has a calm and relaxing atmosphere. However, young people might find it boring since there are fewer entertainment options to hang out, for example, there aren't many cafes or clubs.

× You can find something happening on the streets at any time, whether it's market, festivals or street performance.

✓ You can find something happening on the streets at any time, whether it's markets, festivals or street performances.

The nouns 'market' and 'street performance' should be plural to correctly refer to multiple instances, matching the plural 'festivals' and the general context of various events happening on the streets.

× Additionally, Cairo has an amazing culture rich in history and traditions, which makes which makes.

✓ Additionally, Cairo has an amazing culture rich in history and traditions, which makes it unique.

The sentence is incomplete and contains a repeated phrase 'which makes which makes'. Adding 'it unique' completes the sentence and clarifies the meaning.

× From my perspective, what I love most about my hometown is it's delicious and diverse cuisine which truly reflects our rich culture heritage.

✓ From my perspective, what I love most about my hometown is its delicious and diverse cuisine which truly reflects our rich cultural heritage.

The contraction 'it's' means 'it is' but here the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed to show ownership. Also, 'culture heritage' should be 'cultural heritage' to use the correct adjective form.

× For example, traditional dishes like Kushari are very popular and often bring community together during festivals and family gathering.

✓ For example, traditional dishes like Kushari are very popular and often bring the community together during festivals and family gatherings.

The noun 'community' needs the definite article 'the' to specify it. Also, 'family gathering' should be plural 'family gatherings' to match the plural 'festivals' and generalize the statement.

× Young people might find it boring since there are fewer entertainment optional places to hang out.

✓ Young people might find it boring since there are fewer optional entertainment places to hang out.

The adjective order is incorrect; 'optional' should come after 'entertainment' to correctly describe the places. Also, 'entertainment optional places' is not a correct phrase.

× For example, there aren't many cafes or club.

✓ For example, there aren't many cafes or clubs.

The noun 'club' should be plural 'clubs' to match the plural 'cafes' and the quantifier 'many' which is used with plural countable nouns.