Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中人口数字表达不准确且重复，且句子较长不够简洁。建议简化句子，准确表达人口数量，避免重复。

例: My hometown is Hangzhou, located in southeast China near Shanghai. It is a large city with a population of about 10 million people.

提案: 回答中出现了不相关的词汇“beautiful wheels”，且景点名称有误。建议使用准确的词汇，具体描述景点，并使用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: I like the beautiful scenery in my hometown. For example, West Lake and Lingyin Temple are famous tourist spots that attract visitors from all over the world every year.

提案: 时态使用错误，表达不清晰。建议使用正确的时态，简洁明了地回答问题。

例: I have lived in Hangzhou since I was born, so I have lived there my whole life.

提案: 表达基本清楚，但句子结构简单，且“opportunities to young people”表达不够地道。建议丰富句子结构，使用更自然的表达。

例: Yes, I believe Hangzhou is a great place for young people because it offers many job and educational opportunities.

× My hometown is Hangzhou and it's in the southeast of China and very near Shanghai, and Hangzhou is a big city with about 110,000,000 people, 10 million population.

✓ My hometown is Hangzhou and it's in the southeast of China and very near Shanghai, and Hangzhou is a big city with about 10 million people.

这里“110,000,000 people, 10 million population”数字不一致且重复，正确表达应为“about 10 million people”，即“一千万人口”。数字应准确且统一。

× I like the beautiful wheels.

✓ I like the beautiful views.

原句中的“wheels”意为“轮子”，与语境不符，应为“views”（风景）更合适。

× My hometown has many famous tourist spots such as Westlake, Ling Temple and Chin Town Rivers, and every year it attracts many people around the world to visit here.

✓ My hometown has many famous tourist spots such as West Lake, Lingyin Temple and Chinatown Rivers, and every year it attracts many people from around the world to visit.

“Westlake”应为“West Lake”，“Ling Temple”应为“Lingyin Temple”，“Chin Town Rivers”应为“Chinatown Rivers”，且“people around the world”应改为“people from around the world”，更符合英语习惯。

× When I was born I had lived here and I think I had have lived there for my whole life.

✓ I have lived here since I was born and I think I have lived here for my whole life.

“had lived”是过去完成时，表示过去某时间之前完成的动作，不符合语境。应使用现在完成时“have lived”表示从过去持续到现在的动作。

× Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because Hangzhou has many opportunities to young people.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because Hangzhou has many opportunities for young people.

“opportunities to young people”中介词用错，应为“opportunities for young people”，表示“为年轻人提供机会”。