Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but could be more natural and concise. Avoid unnecessary phrases like 'in the season of' which seems incorrect here. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and structure your answer clearly with a topic sentence followed by supporting details.

例: My hometown is Manglavari, located in the Murang district of southeastern Nepal. It offers many amenities such as good hospitality and educational institutions, making it a comfortable place to live.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to speak more fluently and avoid filler words like 'umm'. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be specific about what you like. For example, mention the pleasant weather and the friendly atmosphere clearly.

例: I like my hometown because I grew up there and have many fond memories. The weather is quite pleasant, and my neighbours are mostly relatives who are very kind and supportive, which creates a warm and friendly atmosphere.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Use the present perfect tense correctly and avoid unnecessary fillers. Provide a clear and complete answer to the question.

例: I have lived there for almost eight years. I completed my higher secondary education there before moving away.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains many fillers. Try to complete your thoughts clearly and use linking words to explain your opinion. Also, use correct grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.

例: I don't think my hometown is a good place for young people because there are limited opportunities. Many young people leave to find better education and job prospects in bigger cities.

× I was born and raised in Manglavari, which is located in Murang district in the season of southeastern Nepal.

✓ I was born and raised in Manglavari, which is located in Murang district in the southeast region of Nepal.

The phrase 'in the season of southeastern Nepal' is incorrect because 'season' refers to time periods like summer or winter, not geographic location. The correct preposition and phrase should indicate location, such as 'in the southeast region of Nepal'. This clarifies the intended meaning.

× It has many amenities like hospitality, educational institution and plenty of other options.

✓ It has many amenities like hospitality, educational institutions and plenty of other options.

The word 'institution' should be plural 'institutions' to agree with 'many amenities' and 'plenty of other options', which are plural. This ensures subject consistency and correct plural usage.

× Since I was grew up there, I had a lot of solid memories here and the weather here is quite pleasant.

✓ Since I grew up there, I have a lot of solid memories here and the weather here is quite pleasant.

The phrase 'was grew up' is incorrect; 'grew up' is the simple past tense and does not need 'was'. Also, 'had' should be 'have' to indicate that the memories still exist. Using 'have' (present perfect) is appropriate here to connect past experience with the present.

× Also my neighborhoods are all my relatives and they are very gracious and patronizing and also umm in my place umm there is there atmosphere is quite.

✓ Also, my neighbours are all my relatives and they are very gracious and patronising. Also, in my place, the atmosphere is quite pleasant.

'Neighborhoods' should be 'neighbours' to refer to people living nearby. The phrase 'there is there atmosphere is quite' is ungrammatical and unclear; it should be 'the atmosphere is quite pleasant'. The sentence is also split for clarity and correct pronoun and article usage.

× Umm, I had lived there almost eight years.

✓ Umm, I have lived there for almost eight years.

The past perfect tense 'had lived' is incorrect here because the action is connected to the present. The present perfect 'have lived' is appropriate to indicate duration up to now. Also, 'for' is needed to express duration.

× Umm, now I had completed my umm +2 umm since.

✓ Umm, now I have completed my +2 education.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Had completed' is past perfect and inappropriate here. 'Have completed' is correct to indicate recent completion. The phrase '+2' refers to higher secondary education and should be clarified. 'Since' is unnecessary and incorrectly placed.

× I'm not really due to the lack of opportunities, many young teenagers leave their home town for seeking the umm better umm educations and jobs.

✓ I'm not really, due to the lack of opportunities, many young teenagers leave their hometown to seek better education and jobs.

The phrase 'for seeking' is incorrect; the correct infinitive form is 'to seek'. 'Educations' should be singular 'education' as it is an uncountable noun. Also, 'hometown' is one word. The sentence is adjusted for clarity and correct preposition and noun usage.