Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and fluent by avoiding repetition and filler words. Also, clarify the name change clearly and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My hometown is in northern India, formerly known as Allahabad but recently renamed Bryagaraj. It is famous for the Sangam, where the three rivers Ganga, Yamuna, and Saraswati meet.

提案: Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide a complete, clear answer with specific details.

例: I like my hometown because it is peaceful and calm. Although it is a small city, it is a hub for educational institutes, which gives it a unique character.

提案: Try to avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide clear timelines and details.

例: I lived there until my marriage, completing my schooling and graduation in the city. Even after marriage, I frequently visited and stayed there during my pregnancy.

提案: Reduce filler words and complete your sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons why it is good for young people.

例: Yes, definitely. My hometown is a good place for young people because it focuses heavily on education. There are many schools and coaching centers, and it is famous for Allahabad University, once known as the Oxford of Asia, which creates a calm and vibrant environment.

× My hometown is in the northern part of India known as Bryagaraj earlier.

✓ My hometown is in the northern part of India, which was earlier known as Bryagaraj.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'known as Bryagaraj earlier' without proper structure. The phrase should be connected with a relative clause 'which was earlier known as Bryagaraj' to correctly express the past name of the place.

× Its earlier name is Allahabad, but recently its name has been changed.

✓ Its earlier name was Allahabad, but recently its name has been changed.

The phrase 'Its earlier name is Allahabad' incorrectly uses present tense 'is' for a past name. The past tense 'was' should be used to indicate the previous name.

× It is famous for and uh, it is famous for Sangam and the three uh, rivers, uh, Ganga, Yamna and Saraswati meets me.

✓ It is famous for the Sangam and the three rivers, Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati, which meet here.

The verb 'meets' does not agree with the plural subject 'rivers'. The correct verb form is 'meet'. Also, 'meets me' is incorrect; it should be 'meet here' or 'meet at this place'.

× I lived there until my marriage.

✓ I lived there until my marriage.

This sentence is correct in past tense and needs no correction.

× I completed my schooling and graduation from the city and even after uh, marriage, I frequently visit that place, uh, during my pregnancy also, I was, uh, stayed there.

✓ I completed my schooling and graduation in the city, and even after marriage, I frequently visited that place. During my pregnancy, I also stayed there.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'Visit' should be 'visited' to match past context. 'I was stayed there' is incorrect; it should be 'I stayed there'.

× I completed my schooling and graduation from the city and even after uh, marriage, I frequently visit that place, uh, during my pregnancy also, I was, uh, stayed there.

✓ I completed my schooling and graduation in the city, and even after marriage, I frequently visited that place. During my pregnancy, I also stayed there.

The preposition 'from' is incorrect when referring to completing schooling or graduation in a place; 'in' is appropriate.

× Yes, definitely. Uh, it's uh, a good place for young people because it, uh, very much focused on education.

✓ Yes, definitely. It's a good place for young people because it is very much focused on education.

The sentence lacks the auxiliary verb 'is' before 'very much focused'. Modal or auxiliary verbs are necessary to form correct verb phrases.

× Apart from that, it is famous for Allahabad University, which is once known as, uh, Oxford of Asia.

✓ Apart from that, it is famous for Allahabad University, which was once known as the Oxford of Asia.

The phrase 'which is once known' incorrectly uses present tense 'is' instead of past tense 'was'. Also, 'the Oxford of Asia' requires the definite article 'the'.

× It provides a very calm and vibrant.

✓ It provides a very calm and vibrant environment.

The sentence is incomplete; 'calm and vibrant' are adjectives that need a noun to complete the meaning, such as 'environment' or 'atmosphere'.