Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repeating the same information and reduce redundancy. Also, correct grammatical errors such as 'been living' to 'have been living'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I was born in Shiraz, a city famous for its enchanting gardens and renowned poets. However, my family and I have been living in Isfahan for the past 12 years because my dad works remotely, which allows us to reside here.

提案: Good answer with specific details. To improve, use more varied vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence, such as 'because' or 'which'.

例: I really appreciate my hometown's rich culture and heritage because it makes me feel connected to my ancestors. For instance, it has many historical sites, including ancient temples and beautiful mosques, which attract tourists every year.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm' to sound more fluent. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'unseparable' to 'inseparable' and 'I'm really feel' to 'I really feel'. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I have been living here for almost 12 years now, and Isfahan has become an inseparable part of me. I really feel connected to its traditions and people, which I find fascinating.

提案: Try to avoid repetition such as 'young, young people' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons.

例: Definitely, my hometown offers many places where the younger generation can enjoy their time and experience new things. For example, there are numerous festivals where young people gather to socialize and have fun.

× I was born in Shiraz, which is a beautiful city known for a beautiful gardens, mesmerizing enchanting gardens and poets.

✓ I was born in Shiraz, which is a beautiful city known for beautiful gardens, mesmerizing enchanting gardens, and poets.

The phrase 'a beautiful gardens' is incorrect because 'gardens' is plural and should not be preceded by the singular article 'a'. Removing 'a' corrects the quantifier usage.

× However, my family and I been living in Isfahan for the past 12 years because my dad has a remote job that allows us to live here.

✓ However, my family and I have been living in Isfahan for the past 12 years because my dad has a remote job that allows us to live here.

The sentence is missing the auxiliary verb 'have' before 'been living' to form the present perfect continuous tense correctly.

× What I really like about my hometown is it's rich culture and heritage which make me feel connected to my ancestors.

✓ What I really like about my hometown is its rich culture and heritage which make me feel connected to my ancestors.

The contraction 'it's' means 'it is' which is incorrect here. The possessive pronoun 'its' should be used to indicate possession.

× What I really like about my hometown is it's rich culture and heritage which make me feel connected to my ancestors.

✓ What I really like about my hometown is its rich culture and heritage which makes me feel connected to my ancestors.

The relative clause 'which make me feel' refers to 'culture and heritage' (plural), so the verb should be 'make'. However, in this context, 'culture and heritage' is treated as a singular concept, so 'makes' is more appropriate for subject-verb agreement.

× I'm really feel connected to their tradition, to their people, how they behave, and it's really fascinating for me.

✓ I really feel connected to their tradition, to their people, how they behave, and it's really fascinating for me.

The phrase 'I'm really feel' is incorrect because 'I'm' (I am) should not be followed by the base verb 'feel'. The correct form is 'I really feel'.