Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but can be more natural and concise. Avoid repeating similar ideas like "very beautiful city" and "very beautiful municipality." Also, start directly with the answer instead of repeating the question. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My hometown is Innerva, located in the eastern part of Nepal. It is a beautiful city known for its rich cultural heritage sites, which attract many visitors.

提案: Your answer has good content but the sentence structure is a bit confusing and long. Try to make your sentences clearer and use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, avoid redundancy like "peaceful nature" and "serenity" without clear connection.

例: I like the peaceful nature of my hometown because it creates a calm and relaxing atmosphere. Moreover, the beautiful scenery adds to the serenity, making it a perfect place to unwind.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but can be improved by combining sentences for better flow and using linking words. Also, avoid starting sentences with filler words like "So basically."

例: I lived in my hometown until I was a teenager, after which I moved to the capital city for further studies. Therefore, I spent most of my childhood there.

提案: Your answer has good points but contains filler words like "umm" and "uh" which reduce fluency. Also, the sentence structure is awkward and some words are misused (e.g., "hustling and bustling polluted in city area"). Try to speak more confidently and use correct expressions with linking words.

例: Definitely, my hometown is a great place for young people because, unlike busy and polluted cities, it is clean, peaceful, and friendly, providing a healthy environment to live and grow.

× Well, my hometown is in eastern part of Nepal.

✓ Well, my hometown is in the eastern part of Nepal.

In English, when referring to a specific part of a place, the definite article 'the' is required before 'eastern part'. So, it should be 'the eastern part of Nepal'. This helps specify the exact region being talked about.

× It is very beautiful city.

✓ It is a very beautiful city.

In English, singular countable nouns like 'city' require an article such as 'a' or 'the'. Here, 'a' is appropriate because it is the first mention of the city. Omitting the article makes the sentence grammatically incorrect.

× It is very beautiful municipality with various cultural heritage sites.

✓ It is a very beautiful municipality with various cultural heritage sites.

Similar to the previous sentence, 'municipality' is a singular countable noun and requires an article. Using 'a' before 'very beautiful municipality' is necessary for grammatical correctness.

× I like the peaceful nature and the serenity that it brings to the people is the most appealing thing about my hometown when it has very beautiful scenery and calming.

✓ I like the peaceful nature and the serenity it brings to the people; these are the most appealing things about my hometown, which has very beautiful scenery and is calming.

The original sentence is a run-on and lacks clarity. Separating ideas with a semicolon and restructuring improves readability. Also, 'calming' needs a verb to connect it properly, so 'is calming' is added. This correction addresses sentence structure and clarity.

× I lived there until I was a teenager.

✓ I lived there until I was a teenager.

This sentence is correct. The past tense 'lived' and 'was' are appropriately used to describe past events.

× After that I moved to the capital city for my further studies.

✓ After that, I moved to the capital city for my further studies.

The sentence is correct in tense usage. Adding a comma after 'After that' improves readability but is optional.

× So basically my childhood was spent there.

✓ So basically, my childhood was spent there.

The sentence is correct in tense. Adding a comma after 'So basically' improves clarity.

× Definitely it is one of the best places for young people because nowadays it is very hustling and bustling polluted in city area.

✓ Definitely, it is one of the best places for young people because nowadays city areas are very hustling, bustling, and polluted.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing and word order. 'Hustling and bustling polluted in city area' is incorrect. The correction rearranges the sentence for clarity and grammatical correctness, using plural 'city areas' and proper adjective order.

× However, my hometown is very umm, clean and uh, peaceful and friendly city.

✓ However, my hometown is a very clean, peaceful, and friendly city.

The sentence lacks the article 'a' before 'very clean'. Also, filler words like 'umm' and 'uh' are removed for clarity. The adjectives are properly ordered and separated by commas.