Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is mostly clear but contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Avoid using 'but' after 'even though' as it is incorrect. Also, try to make your sentences more concise and natural by removing unnecessary words.

例: My hometown is Karachi, where I was born and raised. Although my family originally comes from Kapur, I have always lived in Karachi, so I consider it my real hometown.

提案: Your answer has good content but lacks coherence and has some grammatical mistakes. Use linking words properly to connect ideas, and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, be specific and clear in your points.

例: Karachi is a lively and diverse city, and I like it because it offers many opportunities in education, work, and culture. Although it can be noisy and crowded, I enjoy living here. Moreover, I love meeting people from all parts of Pakistan and even other countries.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. You should directly answer the question with a clear time frame and avoid unfinished sentences. Provide a complete and coherent response.

例: I have lived in Karachi all my life. The city has been growing very fast during this time.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by adding linking words to make it more coherent and by providing a concluding sentence to summarize your opinion.

例: Yes, Karachi is a good place for young people because it has many good schools, colleges, and job opportunities. In addition, there are lots of entertainment options like cinemas, shopping malls, and parks, which young people can enjoy.

× Even though my family is originally from Kapur, but I have always lived in Karachi.

✓ Even though my family is originally from Kapur, I have always lived in Karachi.

Using both 'Even though' and 'but' together is redundant and incorrect. 'Even though' already introduces a contrast, so 'but' should be omitted to avoid repetition.

× So I consider Karachi is my real hometown.

✓ So I consider Karachi my real hometown.

The verb 'consider' is followed directly by the object without 'is'. Including 'is' here is incorrect; the correct structure is 'consider [object]'.

× If you can meet people from all part of Pakistan and even other countries I also love.

✓ I also love meeting people from all parts of Pakistan and even other countries.

'All part' should be plural 'all parts' to agree with 'people' and the context. Also, the sentence structure is incorrect; it should be rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I have lived here since my home life.

✓ I have lived here since my childhood.

The phrase 'since my home life' is unclear and ungrammatical. The correct expression to indicate the starting point of living somewhere from early life is 'since my childhood'.

× The city is growing very fast and.

✓ The city is growing very fast.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' without completing the thought, making it incomplete. Removing 'and' completes the sentence properly.