Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use correct prepositions ('in the centre of China') and plural forms ('historical sites'). Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence flow for naturalness.

例: My hometown is Luoyang, which is located in the centre of China. It has many historical sites, such as the Temple Museum, which attract numerous tourists every year.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains grammatical mistakes. Make sure to complete your sentences and use correct verb forms. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details to enrich your answer.

例: I really like the historical sites in my hometown, especially the Luoyang Buddhist Grottoes, which attract many tourists. They showcase our rich cultural heritage and beautiful ancient art.

提案: Your answer has some tense inconsistencies and unclear timeline. Use past tense for completed actions and present perfect for ongoing situations. Also, clarify your timeline and avoid vague phrases.

例: I lived in Luoyang for 18 years until I graduated from high school. After that, I moved to the south of China. I have many fond memories of my childhood there.

提案: Your answer is clear but contains some grammatical errors and repetition. Use consistent tenses and avoid repeating words. Also, try to use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Not really. Although my hometown is a developed city, it does not offer many job opportunities for young people. Therefore, it is difficult for them to make a living or build a career, so many prefer to move to bigger cities.

× My hometown is Loyang which is located in the central of China.

✓ My hometown is Loyang, which is located in central China.

The phrase 'in the central of China' is incorrect because 'central' is an adjective and does not require the definite article 'the' when used as an adverbial phrase. The correct form is 'in central China'. Also, a comma is needed before 'which' to separate the relative clause.

× It has lots of historical size such as Temple museum which attract a lot of tourists to come here.

✓ It has lots of historical sites such as the Temple Museum, which attract a lot of tourists to come here.

The word 'size' is incorrect; the correct plural noun is 'sites' when referring to places of historical interest. Also, 'Temple museum' should be capitalized as 'Temple Museum' and preceded by the definite article 'the'. A comma is needed before 'which' to introduce the relative clause.

× About the historical size, the Luoyang Buddhism grottoes is very popular, which appeals a lot of tourists.

✓ About the historical sites, the Luoyang Buddhist grottoes are very popular, which appeal to a lot of tourists.

'Size' should be 'sites' to refer to multiple places. 'Buddhism' should be 'Buddhist' as an adjective describing the grottoes. 'Grottoes' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. Also, 'appeals' should be 'appeal' to agree with the plural subject 'grottoes'. The phrase 'appeal to a lot of tourists' is the correct collocation.

× Come here to see his beauty.

✓ People come here to see their beauty.

The original sentence is a fragment lacking a subject and verb. 'His' is incorrect as it does not refer to any antecedent; 'their' correctly refers to the plural 'grottoes'. Adding 'People' as the subject and 'come' as the verb completes the sentence.

× It not only show our rich cultural heritage, but also.

✓ It not only shows our rich cultural heritage, but also represents it.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks a main verb after 'but also'. 'Show' should be 'shows' to agree with the singular subject 'It'. Adding 'represents it' completes the parallel structure and meaning.

× I've been living there for 18 years, since I graduate from high school and then I move to the South of China.

✓ I've been living there for 18 years, since I graduated from high school and then moved to the South of China.

The verbs 'graduate' and 'move' should be in the past tense 'graduated' and 'moved' because the actions happened in the past, indicated by 'since'. This maintains correct tense consistency.

× It gives me a lot of good memories in my childhood.

✓ It gives me a lot of good memories from my childhood.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'from' is used to indicate the origin of memories. 'Memories from my childhood' is the correct expression.

× My hometown is a developed city. It didn't offer many job opportunities for the young people, so it's difficult for them to make a living or save save money or build a career life.

✓ My hometown is a developed city. It doesn't offer many job opportunities for young people, so it's difficult for them to make a living, save money, or build a career.

'Didn't offer' should be 'doesn't offer' to match the present tense context. 'The young people' should be 'young people' as a general group. The repeated word 'save' is a typo and should be corrected. 'Build a career life' is unnatural; 'build a career' is the correct phrase.