Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时应避免重复和口头语，如“Umm”和“you know”，使表达更自然流畅。同时，句子结构可以更简洁，避免冗长。

例: My hometown is Hangzhou, a beautiful city known for its picturesque scenery like Westlake and tea plantations. These attractions draw many tourists due to their peaceful atmosphere and stunning views.

提案: 注意语法错误，如“It's offers”和“more slower”，并且句子应更简洁。建议使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I appreciate the peaceful lifestyle in Hangzhou compared to big cities like Shanghai. Because of its slower pace, people have more time to relax and enjoy daily moments.

提案: 注意介词使用，如“lived in here”应为“lived here”。句子可以更简洁，避免重复“beautiful”。

例: I have lived in Hangzhou for 20 years since I was born. I feel a strong connection to the city because of its rich culture and beautiful environment where I grew up with my family.

提案: 回答较好，但注意主谓一致错误，如“which make”应为“which makes”。可以适当使用连接词使表达更流畅。

例: Yes, definitely. Hangzhou is a developing city with a strong youth culture, which makes it easy for young people to adapt and build relationships. Moreover, many leading technology companies offer excellent career prospects for graduates.

× Hangzhou is is famous for its picturesque sceneries such as Westlake and Tea plantation, which attract many tourists around the world because of its peaceful atmosphere and stunning views.

✓ Hangzhou is famous for its picturesque scenery such as Westlake and tea plantations, which attract many tourists around the world because of its peaceful atmosphere and stunning views.

“sceneries”应为不可数名词“scenery”，不能用复数形式；“Tea plantation”应为复数形式“tea plantations”，表示多个茶园。

× It's offers a more slower pace and so that people can have more time, relax and enjoying the daily moment.

✓ It offers a slower pace so that people can have more time to relax and enjoy the daily moments.

“It's offers”中“It's”是“it is”的缩写，后面不应再加动词“offers”，应直接用“It offers”；“more slower”是重复比较，应只用“slower”；“and so that”连接不当，应改为“so that”；“relax and enjoying”应保持动词形式一致，改为“relax and enjoy”；“daily moment”应为复数“daily moments”。

× I have a strong bond with Hangzhou because I lived in here with my family and this beautiful environment full of rich local culture and beautiful sceneries.

✓ I have a strong bond with Hangzhou because I have lived here with my family in this beautiful environment full of rich local culture and beautiful scenery.

“lived in here”中“in”多余，应直接用“here”；时态应与前文保持一致，改为现在完成时“have lived”；“beautiful sceneries”应为不可数名词“beautiful scenery”。

× ...this beautiful environment full of rich local culture and beautiful sceneries.

✓ ...this beautiful environment full of rich local culture and beautiful scenery.

“scenery”是不可数名词，不能用复数形式“sceneries”。

× Firstly, Hangzhou is a developing city with a strong youth culture, which make it easy for the young generation to adapt and build new relationships, and moreover, the city hosts many leading technology companies offering excellent career prospects for graduates.

✓ Firstly, Hangzhou is a developing city with a strong youth culture, which makes it easy for the young generation to adapt and build new relationships. Moreover, the city hosts many leading technology companies offering excellent career prospects for graduates.

“which make”中的“make”应与单数先行词“youth culture”保持一致，改为“makes”；“and moreover”连接词使用不当，应分句或用“Moreover”单独开头。