Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tự nhiên và có nội dung phù hợp, nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ và sự lặp lại không cần thiết ("people they are"). Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn để tăng tính hiệu quả.

例: My hometown is Tokyo province, a peaceful and livable place where people are warm and welcoming, always ready to help visitors.

提案: Bạn nên chú ý ngữ pháp và tránh lặp từ như "people they are, they are". Ngoài ra, câu "We make it a great place to relax" không rõ chủ thể, nên sửa lại cho rõ ràng. Hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: One of the things I like most about my hometown is its peaceful and fresh atmosphere, which makes it a great place to relax. Moreover, the people are very friendly and welcoming, always ready to host visitors.

提案: Bạn cần sử dụng thì đúng (ví dụ: "I lived" thay vì "I live" khi nói về quá khứ). Ngoài ra, câu trả lời hơi dài dòng và có lỗi ngữ pháp như "had many cultural attraction" nên sửa thành "has many cultural attractions". Hãy tránh dùng từ thừa như "Uh" và nói rõ ràng hơn.

例: I lived in Tokyo province for three years before moving to Quartz City, which is a wonderful and livable place. Additionally, I loved living there because it has many cultural attractions and good opportunities.

提案: Bạn nên tránh dùng từ thừa như "uh" và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như "a ideal" thành "an ideal". Câu cuối cùng có sự lặp lại "people are they are" nên cần chỉnh sửa để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn. Hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc.

例: Absolutely. My hometown is an ideal place for young people because it offers various good job opportunities, such as part-time jobs and educational programs. Moreover, the people are friendly and welcoming.

× Moreover, people they are so warm and welcoming, always ready to help visitors.

✓ Moreover, people are so warm and welcoming, always ready to help visitors.

The pronoun 'they' is redundant because 'people' already serves as the subject. Using both 'people' and 'they' together is incorrect. Remove 'they' to correct the sentence.

× Moreover, people they are, they are so friendly and welcoming, always ready to have visit them.

✓ Moreover, people are so friendly and welcoming, always ready to have visitors.

The repeated use of 'they are' is redundant and incorrect. Also, 'have visit them' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'have visitors'. The pronoun 'them' is unnecessary here.

× I live there for three years before moving to Quartz City, which is a wonderful and livable place.

✓ I lived there for three years before moving to Quartz City, which is a wonderful and livable place.

The action of living there for three years happened in the past, so the past tense 'lived' should be used instead of the present tense 'live'.

× I love to live in there because it had many cultural attraction and good opportunity.

✓ I love living there because it has many cultural attractions and good opportunities.

The preposition 'in' is unnecessary before 'there'. Also, 'had' should be 'has' to match the present tense 'love'. 'Attraction' and 'opportunity' should be plural to match 'many'.

× My hometown is a ideal place for young people because of various uh, good job opportunities such as part time jobs and educational program.

✓ My hometown is an ideal place for young people because of various good job opportunities such as part-time jobs and educational programs.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a word starting with a vowel sound like 'ideal'. 'Part time' should be hyphenated as 'part-time'. 'Program' should be plural to match 'various'.

× Moreover, people are they are so friendly and welcoming.

✓ Moreover, people are so friendly and welcoming.

The phrase 'people are they are' is redundant and incorrect. Only 'people are' is needed to form a correct sentence.