Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but can be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "which is located near Meerut which is in city in Uttar Pradesh." Instead, say "Bijoli is a village near Meerut city in Uttar Pradesh." Also, try to limit your answer to 3-4 sentences for clarity.

例: My hometown is Bijoli, a village near Meerut city in Uttar Pradesh. It is well-known for its vibrant cultural events during festivals like Diwali and Holi, which attract many visitors.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and use linking words to connect your points. For example, mention the festivals first, then explain why you like them, and describe the atmosphere with specific details.

例: What I like most about my hometown are the festivals, especially Diwali and Holi. During these times, everyone comes together to celebrate with traditional rituals, creating a joyful and lively atmosphere.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and confusing. Try to give a clear and complete response. Start by stating that you currently live elsewhere for studies, then mention how long you lived in your hometown before. Use complete sentences and avoid abrupt endings.

例: I currently live away from my hometown because I am pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science and Engineering. However, I lived in Bijoli for many years during my childhood with my grandparents, and those were happy times.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your ideas logically. For example, say that although many young people move to cities, your hometown offers good opportunities or values for youth. Use linking words to connect your points.

例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people. Although many young people move to cities for better opportunities, those who stay benefit from the guidance and teachings of the older generation, which helps in their personal growth.

× My hometown is Bijoli. It is a village which is located near Meerut which is in city in Uttar Pradesh.

✓ My hometown is Bijoli. It is a village which is located near Meerut, which is a city in Uttar Pradesh.

The phrase 'which is in city in Uttar Pradesh' is incorrect because 'city' needs an article before it. The correct form is 'which is a city in Uttar Pradesh'. This is an example of the 'There be issue' related to article usage with singular countable nouns.

× My village is very famous for its culture events which are organized during festivals such as Diwali and Holi.

✓ My village is very famous for its cultural events which are organized during festivals such as Diwali and Holi.

The word 'culture' should be used as an adjective 'cultural' to correctly describe 'events'. This is an incorrect use of adjectives, but since it relates to prepositional phrase usage, it fits best here. Using 'cultural events' is the correct collocation.

× The thing I like about my hometown most is the festival or programs that use that occur every year during Diwali and Holy Holi festival.

✓ The thing I like most about my hometown is the festivals or programs that occur every year during Diwali and Holi festival.

The phrase 'that use that occur' is incorrect and confusing. The pronoun 'that' is misused here. Also, 'Holy Holi' is incorrect; it should be 'Holi'. The sentence is corrected by removing the extra 'use that' and correcting the festival name.

× At that time all people are happy and perform where many rituals that's make an environment.

✓ At that time, all people are happy and perform many rituals that create an atmosphere.

The phrase 'perform where many rituals that's make an environment' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. 'Where' is misused, and 'that's' should be 'that'. Also, 'make an environment' is unnatural; 'create an atmosphere' is better. This is an incorrect use of prepositions and sentence structure.

× As currently I'm pursuing my Bachelors of Technology in Computer Science and Engineering due to which I am not able.

✓ Currently, I am pursuing my Bachelor of Technology in Computer Science and Engineering, due to which I am not able to live there.

The sentence is incomplete and awkward. 'Bachelors' should be 'Bachelor' as it is singular. The phrase 'due to which I am not able' is incomplete and needs an object. This is a present tense and sentence structure issue.

× I was I'm unable to live in my hometown but I lived there for many years when I was a child with my grandparents.

✓ I am unable to live in my hometown now, but I lived there for many years when I was a child with my grandparents.

The phrase 'I was I'm unable' is incorrect and confusing. It mixes past and present tense improperly. The correct form is to use present tense 'I am unable' to express current inability, and past tense 'I lived' for past action.

× That time was very.

✓ That time was very good.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks an adjective to complete the thought. 'That time was very' is a sentence structure error; it needs a descriptive word like 'good' to be complete.

× Yes is it is definitely a good place for young people as in my hometown most people who are living presently are older as the younger ones are moved to city forward and at that time the teachings they provide to younger is best for their growth in future.

✓ Yes, it is definitely a good place for young people because in my hometown most people living presently are older, as the younger ones have moved to cities, and the teachings they provide to the younger generation are best for their growth in the future.

The original sentence has multiple issues: incorrect word order ('Yes is it is'), incorrect tense ('are moved' should be 'have moved'), missing articles ('to city' should be 'to cities'), and unclear phrasing ('at that time the teachings they provide to younger'). These are sentence structure errors that need correction for clarity and grammatical accuracy.