Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تحسين تركيب الجمل لتكون أكثر طبيعية ودقة، واستخدم كلمات ربط لتوضيح الأفكار بشكل أفضل.

例: My hometown is Mecca, which is located in the eastern part of Saudi Arabia. It is a mountainous city, famous for having the biggest clock tower.

提案: ركز على تنظيم الأفكار بشكل أوضح واستخدم عبارات ربط لتجنب التكرار، ووضح الأسباب بشكل أكثر تحديداً.

例: I like my hometown because of my friends and family. Also, I enjoy the cloudy weather there, which makes the atmosphere very pleasant and friendly.

提案: حاول استخدام زمن الفعل الصحيح وعبارات أكثر دقة لتوضيح المدة، وابتعد عن الأخطاء النحوية.

例: I was born in Mecca and have lived there for 24 years. Currently, I am looking for a new job in the city.

提案: استخدم مفردات أكثر دقة وصحح الأخطاء النحوية، وقدم تفاصيل أو أمثلة أكثر وضوحاً مع ربط الأفكار.

例: Yes, my hometown is great for young people because there are many gardens where they can enjoy activities such as playing football or horse racing.

× My hometown in Saudi Arabia, especially in Mecca.

✓ My hometown is in Saudi Arabia, especially in Mecca.

The sentence lacks the verb 'is' which is necessary to complete the sentence structure. In English, a complete sentence requires a subject and a verb. Here, 'My hometown' is the subject and 'is' is the linking verb connecting the subject to the complement.

× Mecca, it's east in Saudi Arabia and it's mountain city and you can see the biggest clock tower.

✓ Mecca is in the east of Saudi Arabia. It is a mountain city, and you can see the biggest clock tower there.

The preposition 'east in Saudi Arabia' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'in the east of Saudi Arabia'. Also, 'it's mountain city' should be 'it is a mountain city' to include the article 'a'. The sentence was also split for clarity and correctness.

× I like my friend and family and I like when the weather become I like the weather will be clouds and people there.

✓ I like my friends and family, and I like when the weather is cloudy and there are people around.

The pronoun 'my friend' should be plural 'my friends' to match the context. The phrase 'when the weather become' is incorrect; it should be 'when the weather is'. Also, 'I like the weather will be clouds' is incorrect; the correct form is 'when the weather is cloudy'. The sentence was restructured for clarity.

× It's very friend friendly.

✓ It's very friendly.

The phrase 'friend friendly' is incorrect. The correct adjective is 'friendly' to describe a place or environment that is welcoming.

× I born there so I have a 24, I have been there 24 years and now I look for a new job in Mecca.

✓ I was born there, so I am 24. I have been there for 24 years, and now I am looking for a new job in Mecca.

The verb 'born' needs the auxiliary 'was' to form the past tense passive voice 'was born'. 'I have a 24' is incorrect; it should be 'I am 24'. 'I look for' should be in the present continuous 'I am looking for' to indicate current action.

× Yes, it's a good place for young people because we have many garden there and they can do many act activity like for example playing football or race horses.

✓ Yes, it's a good place for young people because we have many gardens there, and they can do many activities like playing football or horse racing.

The noun 'garden' should be plural 'gardens' to match 'many'. 'Many act activity' is incorrect; it should be 'many activities'. 'Race horses' is better expressed as 'horse racing' to describe the activity.