Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is informative and mostly natural, but it is slightly long and could be more concise. Try to avoid redundancy by combining related information and using linking words to improve coherence.

例: My hometown is Changing, a large city near Beijing in northern China. Winters there are quite chilly, with temperatures often below freezing, but I especially enjoy the pleasant autumn weather.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by avoiding repetition and using linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, try to use more varied vocabulary related to the topic.

例: I like the spacious and wide streets in my hometown because they allow me to ride my bike or drive my car easily without traffic jams, which makes traveling convenient and enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is direct but somewhat repetitive. Try to avoid repeating the same idea and use linking words to make your response more fluent and natural.

例: I have lived in my hometown for 21 years since birth, so I am very familiar with the place and enjoy my life there.

提案: Your answer is well-structured and informative. To improve, you could use more varied vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence and naturalness.

例: Yes, my hometown is an excellent place for young people because the local government offers housing subsidies, making it easier for them to afford good homes. Additionally, there are many employment opportunities available.

× the weather in winters can be quite chilly with temperature dropping below freezing

✓ the weather in winter can be quite chilly with temperatures dropping below freezing

In English, 'winter' is usually used in the singular form when referring to the season in general, not 'winters'. Also, 'temperature' should be plural 'temperatures' when referring to general conditions. So, use 'in winter' and 'temperatures' for correct expression.

× I enjoy the autumn because the weather is very pleasant

✓ I enjoy autumn because the weather is very pleasant

The word 'autumn' is a season and generally does not require the definite article 'the' before it. Saying 'I enjoy autumn' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× passing through each St. which means that there is plenty of room for different vehicles to pass through

✓ passing through each street, which means that there is plenty of room for different vehicles to pass through

The abbreviation 'St.' is informal and should be expanded to 'street' in formal speech. Also, a comma is needed before 'which' to separate the clauses properly.

× I have lived here for 21 years, since I was born

✓ I have lived here for 21 years since I was born

The comma before 'since' is unnecessary because 'since I was born' is an essential clause explaining the duration. Removing the comma improves sentence flow.

× the local government provides various housing subsidies for young people so that they can afford nice houses to live

✓ the local government provides various housing subsidies for young people so that they can afford nice houses to live in

The verb 'live' requires the preposition 'in' when referring to residing in a house. Omitting 'in' is grammatically incorrect.